Ex wants to meet me for lunch, go?

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-05-2003
Ex wants to meet me for lunch, go?
5
Sat, 05-22-2004 - 2:35pm
Here's the deal, my ex broke up with me about 1 month ago after she felt that I wasn't being honest about things in my life. She eventually came to find out that I was actually being honest about these things. I did a few stupid things in the relationship as it was so I probably didn't help her insecurities about me. For example, she never believed that I was actually looking to buy a home (I was living with my parents to save up, which put a damper on our relationship, because it was taking me so long to find a place (So Cal is very expensive). Well I finally found a place.

Fast forward a month later and we've been exchanging emails over the past few days. She says she has forgiven me about a few things that I did. We talked on the phone about a week ago, when she suggested we get together for lunch or dinner sometime. So I emailed her last week asking her to lunch. She suggested Friday, but it didn't work for me, so I emailed her back saying maybe sometime next week.

Then she sends another email suggesting Monday or Tuesday for lunch.

I'm wondering whether I should go or not. I still have feelings for her but I know one thing about woman, they never forget what you have done to them, big or small. Also, I figure she may want to meet me to, because she sent an email suggesting a few alternative days.


Edited 5/22/2004 2:38 pm ET ET by ejirardo

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-22-2004
Sat, 05-22-2004 - 2:47pm
Lunch won't hurt. if anything that will make you see if their is truley a future between the 2 of you. if things click...all good.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-04-2004
Sat, 05-22-2004 - 5:15pm
Sounds like you are the one having trouble forgetting :). Perchance are you the one that made the first attempt to get back in touch with her? I must clarify: Not all women have problems forgetting things. I think that statment may be a product of an unconscious desire to render oneself blameless so one feels less guilt. I am not saying you are bad, it's a natural psychological response and that's just my opinion based on what you wrote. But only weak women that don't speak their minds when things first go down hold on to resentment and let it fester. And, if that's what your ex does, you could do with someone a little more capable of articulating feelings and letting them go. No one needs a codependent obstacle course obstructing an otherwise healthy relationship and no one likes a finger-pointer trying to make them feel guilty about the past. Something huge and painful like chronic adultery could be a bit harder for anyone to forget, but most grown-ups let the little things go. I wish you much luck. And if she's buying your lunch, go for it ;)!
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-08-2003
Sat, 05-22-2004 - 5:31pm
I don't agree with one statement you made, which was: "But only weak women that don't speak their minds when things first go down hold on to resentment and let it fester." From my experience, some women speak their minds and generate festered resentment anyway. They then bring up old ostensibly resolved issues over and over. I think it's a kind of control issue.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-04-2004
Sat, 05-22-2004 - 7:23pm
That is true that some people bring up "done" issues, I give you that, and it is absolutely a control thing. Also true is that not all *people of both genders* do this :)
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-20-2003
Sun, 05-23-2004 - 1:19am
u prob already had ur lunch meeting, but if u haven't, don't

discuss anything that cd cause any flare-ups between u.

let time take its natural course..if true love will emerge,

and no pushing will occur on either end, then who knows how

this will conclude

good luck

kittiesx6