Excluded and hurt
Find a Conversation
Excluded and hurt
| Fri, 04-09-2004 - 12:51pm |
My boyfriend and I have been dating for over a year. We are 25 and pretty serious (talking about moving in etc.). However, when I brought up the idea of splitting Easter between our families this year, he scoffed. I thought spend the morning at with my family and go to his for dinner, etc.
He's acting like I asked him to share his legs. It's like I'm not allowed to be included. He is an only child and it's appearing that their little triumverate is impenatrable, which worries me...
My thoughts were that we've been dating a while and it just seems natural to start sharing holidays together between our families and acclimating each other into each others families.
I just don't understand. I don't see the big deal here, neither of our families is religious and we celebrate Easter but don't make a big deal over it. It just seems that this is a much more logical holiday to start with then say Christmas.
Any insite would be greatly appreciated.

Or have you two briefly and very vaguely discussed "moving in together".
Lots of people move in together that don't want commitment in terms of the future. What they want is "more daily of what they have right now with you" - ease, convenience, benefits, support, security, and a person to spend time with...they're not looking to share their life with you by cohabitation - they're looking to spend more time as it benefits them by cohabitation.
There's a huge difference.
Erin
quickblade14@hotmail.com
We are not religious (as in my previous post) and are not taking that aspect into consideration. And I honestly only wrote that in attempts to descibe the relationship.
He and I will talk more about it tonight, as I believe that there are compromises to be had.
His standard and definition of a great relationship with his partner may easily NEVER have included having them involved with his parents as an "equal" to him in their eyes. He might easily have always known that he was always going to, meaning he never did overmuch before, involve his girlfriends with his parents. And he's not going to have his future wife there either...that's "his" parents nad "his" happy place" and his definition of having a great partnered relationship don't involve her being included in his family.
It sounds nuts..but not everybody, in fact very few, people hold the standard "American traditional Norman Rockwell" definition of "great family life."
Erin
quickblade14@hotmail.com