exercise and movie watching
Find a Conversation
exercise and movie watching
| Sun, 04-25-2004 - 1:33am |
My husband and I have had this argument for our 15 years of marriage. I have 2 kids, and little time during the day to exercise. So, I want to exercise in the evenings. Tonight I wanted to do some light weight exercises for my arms, while my husband and I watched a movie. He gets extremely angry that I am interrupting his "art" time. He compares watching a movie at home, to seeing a painting in a museum, going to hear an orchestra, etc... He called me all kind of names, stupid, and worse telling me that I am extremely rude, and selfish. I asked him if it was because he wanted to watch the movie "with me", or if it was just because he wanted to watch the movie, and he said it was just the movie. He said I am stubborn, always want the last word, and don't want to understand his side of things. I thought, if we turn down the lights, I exercise on the side of the room, so my weights aren't in his view, that it would be appropriate, but, he said that I just don't understand. Could you please help me understand why I am being rude, and inconsiderate? We're at our home, so I think I should be able to spend some of my precious time trying to get a little personal exercise time. Of course if we were out of the house, I wouldn't lift weights at a concert, museum, etc.
Please help me understand.
Flabby Arms

If the two of you are spending time together, doing something together, like watching a movie - he wants you two to 'be together', sharing the experience, NOT just hanging out in the same room, viewing a movie at the same time, while you are exercising - doing something else at the same time? Like your movement on the side of the room, distracts him and/or upsets him because he can't give his full attention to the movie OR because he wants to spend time with you without the distraction of exercising?
That's my best guess. While he's entitled to feel what he feels, it is not ok to call you names, surely there is a compromise in here somewhere. How many movies do you watch a week? Split them, x amount you watch while exercising and x you don't.
As far as being rude....I personally understand you wanting to squeeze as much into your day, espeicially exercising so you can feel better about you, take care of yourself, etc. I think he's labeling you rude INSTEAD of finding an appropriate way to express what's really bothering him.
Have you consider marriage counseling?
Carrie
Then I don't think your flabby arms are your biggest problem. That is awful. Does he respect you at all? Does he call the kids names too? Is he threatened by your working out?