expert help needed please

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-17-2007
expert help needed please
3
Mon, 11-19-2007 - 2:37pm

My gf and me were together for five months. It was a happy loving relationship. We never once fell out, I treated her so well and would of done anything for her and she knew this.

Towards the end of the relationship we started to see too much of each other and I think it put a strain on the relationship. I felt because it was going so good I felt something was going to go wrong and I think it made me a bit clingy as well towards the end. Anyways she started going out on nights out with her m8 cos her m8 had just split up with her b/f. her m8 kept asking her to go out all the time and I think it put my ex into an awkward position.

So one Monday night we were going on holiday the next day and she had seemed in a funny mood all day so I asked her what was wrong and she told me that she didn’t want to be tied down anymore but on the other hand she still loves me and wants to be with me. She seemed very confused at the time. So anyways we went on this holiday and talked about everything and decided when we got back we’d go on a 2-week break. Which only lasted a week because I didn’t think she would change her mind. She was still confused and I think she wanted the best of both worlds and realized that couldn’t happen. So were both upset because we had such a good time together.
Some say it was her only m8 that influenced our break up as she was telling my gf how good single life is and she was asking my ex to come out all the time and it made her feel like she was missing out and put in an awkward position.
This all happened last July after that we were in contact a lot through august and so I sent a letter saying thanks for the time we had together I’ve missed you at times and maybe we could enjoy something like it again who knows. and that I have now realized we did spend to much time together

Anyways It’s been nearly 4 months now, we haven’t had much contact as we wanted the dust to settle.
However In October last month we saw each other in town in the Night club.
We had a 10 min chat just asking how each other was e.t.c
Firstly she heard a rumour I was seeing someone which I put her straight that I wasn't and secondly she told me that last week she read my letter again…
I just said It was just to clear the air really. That was that…

I find it strange her bringing up the fact she has been reading the letter?
A lot of people tell me to just wait for her to make the first move cos it was her that finished the relationship but then maybe she feels cheeky after breaking up and upsetting me.

Anyways the other night as I haven’t heard anything since that night. I text her best m8 well only m8 asking her if my ex is ok as I cant get in touch with her.
Anyway she replied back and said yeah she is fine I’ll ask her to give you a ring later.... So since then I’ve not heard anything. Maybe it wasn’t a good idea talking through her best m8 but n/m.

So the advice I’m asking is

Do I wait until she has a new phone, which I don’t know when this will be?
And ask her out for a drink and talk with her.

Or send another letter saying. ‘ Could we try again but this time, take things slower
and that I’m sorry for spoiling things towards the end by being to clingy and not giving her space

What is your advice please?

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-30-2005
Mon, 11-19-2007 - 5:49pm

Welcome back,


I think you need to wait until she contacts you. You have put the ball in her court as to speak and now it is her turn to make a move. If you keep trying to contact her, I think it will just push her farther away.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Tue, 11-20-2007 - 1:30pm

Hi Craig,


I answered you on the other board, what did you decide?






iVillage Member
Registered: 08-17-2007
Tue, 11-20-2007 - 3:11pm

i replied to your post onthe the other board...


i feel i'm just going to have to try and get over her.