Ex's that are in still in love

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-01-2003
Ex's that are in still in love
20
Mon, 01-19-2004 - 7:11pm
What is with ex's and them still trying to contact you after they made a point of moving on? My ex and I have been broken up for over a year. We talked throughout the breakup and still knew we loved each other but needed the space. In June of '03 he started to date someone. So I figured okay we are over. However in September of '03 I get a note from him saying how much he still loves me and always will. Then I run into him on Thanksgiving weekend and we end up sleeping together. I don't understand how he could possibly be in any type of relationship if he still has these strong feelings for me? Am I just kidding myself or does he need to grow up and figure s**t out without me or his girlfriend?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2003
Mon, 01-19-2004 - 8:22pm
Did you have this conversation with him when you slept together?
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-04-2003
Tue, 01-20-2004 - 12:59pm
Why would you sleep with him knowing he had a girlfriend?


Carrie

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-01-2003
Wed, 01-28-2004 - 2:00pm
Yes, but I mean what am I supposed to do about it, I'm not his girlfriend anymore and ulitmately I have nothing to loose except my pride, its on his shoulders that he slept with me. I guess he just needs to grow up.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-01-2003
Wed, 01-28-2004 - 2:08pm
Umm, because I still care about him, he was also involved wasn't like I seduced him, he wanted it just as bad as I did. That is why I don't see how he could possibly be putting 100% into his new relationship.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-04-2003
Wed, 01-28-2004 - 2:16pm
Even if he's not putting in 100% in the new relationship, he IS in a relationship. That means he CHEATED ON HER WITH YOU, probably has LIED to her and has no integrity.

If he'd do it to her, he'd do it to you. Is that the kind of relationship you want?


Carrie

Avatar for lucy4980
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 01-28-2004 - 2:38pm
What are you supposed to do about it? Nothing. If you don't want to be involved with the man, then don't be. If he calls, then tell him you need to move on and get off the phone. If he sends you notes, don't respond. Just move on with your life.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2003
Wed, 01-28-2004 - 8:12pm
It isn't on your shoulders that you helped him cheat on his girlfriend? It isn't your responsibility that you did this to another woman? How mature was that decision?

What exactly do you want? Do you want to get back together with him?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-01-2003
Mon, 02-02-2004 - 6:36pm
Why is it that people always blame the other person, I didn't help him in any way cheat on his girlfriend. He is a person and could've easily stopped it whenever but he didn't. No I don't have a guilty concience about it because I have no attachments with anyone so why should I feel bad about wanting to be with him. Guess you've never been in love with someone.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2003
Mon, 02-02-2004 - 7:54pm
'Guess you've never been in love with someone.'

My experience with love and your experience sleeping with an ex who currently has a girlfriend have nothing to do with each other.

'I didn't help him in any way cheat on his girlfriend.'

Did you or did you not sleep with him while he was dating someone else?

I am not blaming you totally. I just want you to take some responsiblity here.

'He is a person and could've easily stopped it whenever but he didn't'

No he didn't. That was his choice. What baffles me is that you didn't stop it either. YOu can't control what he does but you can control your behavior.

What exactly are you looking for by posting here? Do you want someone to tell you that this is all his fault? That you are the victim?

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-05-2003
Tue, 02-03-2004 - 8:20am

I think it is sad that you actually think he loves you because he was willing to sleep with you while still with his girlfriend.

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