Ex's that are in still in love
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Ex's that are in still in love
| Mon, 01-19-2004 - 7:11pm |
What is with ex's and them still trying to contact you after they made a point of moving on? My ex and I have been broken up for over a year. We talked throughout the breakup and still knew we loved each other but needed the space. In June of '03 he started to date someone. So I figured okay we are over. However in September of '03 I get a note from him saying how much he still loves me and always will. Then I run into him on Thanksgiving weekend and we end up sleeping together. I don't understand how he could possibly be in any type of relationship if he still has these strong feelings for me? Am I just kidding myself or does he need to grow up and figure s**t out without me or his girlfriend?

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People can be confused for a long time. Your ex husband can still love you, but be unable or uncertain if he wants to be in a "marriage". All the committment and responsibility may be too much for him. Or, sometimes a man begins to crave freedom to play around, although he still cares about ihs wife. It's a regression of a kind - he wants to be young again and carefree. In time he often realizes that he misses his ex - and even attempts to get close again so as not to lose her. This is a way to keep an anchor and also not let the former partner go. It is not a good thing for you. You do not need to have your feelings and hopes rock and roll. You need clarity about the relationship so you can move on. Therefore, unless he wants to truly be a partner to you and return, it's better not to keep this going. The tie you have for one another can prevent you from making the break you need to make and starting again. I've seen this kind of back and forth situation go on for many years, leaving both people nowhere. Find out where he's really at. Does he want to return and work on the relationship? If he is clear and serious about it, that is one thing. But if he's dilly dallying, just say no.
Best wishes.
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I guess you aren't the person I was looking for help from. You really shouldn't have this much anger and hate towards people, its not healthy.
I'm not holding out for him and I don't believe we will ever get back together I just wanted to know why a person would do that when in fact they do have a girlfriend.
I think you really misunderstood the point of my post, you yourself "don't understand why he would do that if he had a girlfriend."
James
janderson_ny@yahoo.com
CL Ask A Guy
I was quoting *you* when you said 'I guess you have never been in love before' to me. Read post #9 again. It is an offensive thing to say isn't it?
I don't think you got what I was saying at all.
It is amazing that you can come here and blame everyone for their 'anger' and also blame your ex for sleeping with you. Do you have the maturity and insight to take any responsibility here?
You wrote:
'who wouldn't do that if put into a similar situation?'
A lot of people with morals and values that aren't conducive to sleeping with someone who has a girlfriend.
He now cheats on his girlfriend. That is a fact. Maybe he didn't cheated on you before but he is now someone who does. Doesn't that impact you?
Edited 2/13/2004 6:07:01 PM ET by ciao_gina
and what does being "almost to the freakin alter" have to do with cheating?....have you heard married people cheat too?...and engaged couples?
i'd wonder why you didn't get to the alter after 6 years dating.
anyway, as for feedback to your question of why a guy would sleep with another woman when he has a girlfriend, you're kidding right?....sad to say men (and women) do that all the time for varied reasons....some reasons can be simply he found a female to say "yes".
good luck!
honey
honey
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