failing everything

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-22-2008
failing everything
6
Wed, 10-22-2008 - 11:03pm
this could be about a failed marriage but honestly everything is failing. My marriage of 2 years, my career is in transition and I am having issues conceiving. It seems that at 40 everything my life is unraveling. I busted my tail for almost 20 years working, SERVING and PLEASING everyone in my world. A product of a divorced family at an early age, I had to grow up VERY YOUNG and learn to navigate the world. Considered a maverick yet a late bloomer, I prided myself in being an independent woman never having to ask for help. It now seems that after all these years of SHOWING up, my body, mind and spirit are tired. I am too exhausted to now be married to my young, feisty, nasty, mean overly sexed young husband. This isn't what he bargained for..and I don't have the energy to battle (at least twice a week) his insecurity, his need to have me be present when I have to work late AGAIN, OR my lack of sex drive. I could write on and on...but I think for the most part you get the gist. Any advice, ..anyone?
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-11-2008
Thu, 10-23-2008 - 5:15am
It could be almost anything.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-11-2006
Thu, 10-23-2008 - 11:50am

Please do not have kids with a man that you describe as mean and more. If you are too tired to be his wife then you are too tired to be a mom right now.


Does he want to change? Does he want to save the marriage?

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Thu, 10-23-2008 - 12:02pm

Welcome to the board atherbest,


You gotten good advice about not having kids with this man that you describe as mean. Also good advice about seeing a doctor for a check up.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-22-2008
Thu, 10-23-2008 - 11:20pm
Thanks! Therapist...been there done that. This is a test from a power higher than me I think. I need to get my crap together and make SOUND decisions and just DO IT! For too long I have just gone with the flow. I need to make my own decisons now. I really thank you for your advice. I will try the books
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-22-2008
Thu, 10-23-2008 - 11:29pm
ugh...pre memo....I cant even hear those words....you are talking to someone that thinks that her life is still on the horizon and hasn't even started yet. We actually are seeing a fertility specialists. A battery of test will reveal if I can have kids with my own eggs or if a donor is necessary. I have endometriosis...so there are challenges. He also has a LOW sperm count....so it isn't all me. But seriously, I wish I had a play book on this because I was not prepared for all these hurdles in life.....what happened to my picket fence, my 2 kids, my bake sales and sleigh rides? Why didn't I STOP earlier...get off the treadmill and GET ON WITH LIFE. WHY DID I NOT SEE ANY SENSE OF URGENCY?
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-11-2008
Fri, 10-24-2008 - 7:31am

I get it!