Falling in love

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-23-2008
Falling in love
9
Sat, 02-23-2008 - 12:05pm

This is my first posting, so be gentle.


A little background on me.. I am 35 years old, never dated, "v".

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Sat, 02-23-2008 - 1:01pm

Welcome to the board tracey88-8,


I have a question, you said he was seeing other people.... is he also sleeping with them?

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-23-2008
Sat, 02-23-2008 - 6:34pm

Cl-itwinflame:


To answer your question, about him seeing other people

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-16-2007
Sat, 02-23-2008 - 7:38pm

Well I gotta say, for having no prior dating experience, you do seem very insightful about it all (more so than many women with several relationships behind em!).


I think that the best thing to do in this situation is to believe what he says.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-23-2008
Sat, 02-23-2008 - 9:47pm

Kalielu,


You liked my insight on dating, all these years being the girl in the background has given me a lot of experience watching and learning.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-20-2007
Sun, 02-24-2008 - 10:52am

I agree, you do seem to be very insightful for lacking experience. I think you're very intelligent and it's great that you can stand your ground.

Should you be concerned with falling in love at only 2 months in? Well no, but it's clear that he is. And if you want my honest opinion, if things looked promising then he wouldn't be telling you that he's concerned he won't fall in love with you - he'd be more and more sure that he WAS falling in love with you.

So maybe he isn't the last guy you will ever date, but don't take what I have to say as law. If you like one another and still want to see where things go, continue dating. He's interested in proving himself wrong and maybe he's concerned mostly because of experience. As long as you don't let him get you hung up on love and forever then I think you'll be okay.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-23-2008
Sun, 02-24-2008 - 11:59am

Eggbertshootsfire,


Thanks for your words of advice.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-23-2008
Sun, 02-24-2008 - 10:19pm

Update on "P,"


He didn't call me

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-29-2007
Sun, 02-24-2008 - 11:53pm

I'm sorry you're having a rough time. Men can be so hard to figure out! I think they may think the same thing about us as well.

I think you have handled things well, even though you are inexperienced.

I was dating a guy for a while whom I was falling for. He told me after about a month that he couldn't see having a longterm relationship with me, that there were no feelings of love or anything. This confused me because he had led me to believe he was very much into me. Despite his statement about the lack of feelings, he still wanted to see me. I found this confusing. I was glad to know where he stood, though.

I ended up seeing him casually but, concurrently, was dating the guy I am currently serious with.

There are usually red flags with any relationship in which the guy may not be right for you. In this case, he's given you indicators that, while he likes you on some level, there's not likely to be a future with this guy. The marijuana thing is weird and sounds like an excuse. He may have been a little scared by the emotion and raw honesty in your email.

I think you are wise to move on.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-13-2007
Mon, 02-25-2008 - 2:10pm

Taking out the fluff, reread what he's saying to you:


"he is not sure that "he can fall in love with me."