fantasizing about other women during sex
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fantasizing about other women during sex
| Thu, 09-23-2004 - 6:33pm |
My man told me the other day that "sometimes" he fantasizes about/ imagines other women while we are having sex/ making love. He says that he usually imagines a pornstar... not anyone in particular. This hurts a lot, but he says that it's normal for guys. He asked me, "Don't you think about other guys sometimes?" I replied, "No, I don't... I think about you and ONLY you." I know he loves me... we've been together almost 2 years.
Got any advice?

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I am all about being honest in relationships, but there are some things that ought not be said. I mean really - who cares if it is normal for men to fantasize about other women while having sex? No woman wants to hear that from her man. What did he hope to accomplish by sharing this insight into the minds of men with you? All this can possibly do is make you uncomfortable, insecure, angry, and/or hurt. And he probably didn't even mean to make up uncomfortable etc. He probably just didn't even think before he spoke.
What to do about it? Tell him how it made you feel and that in the future you would appreciate it if he would think about comments of this nature before he makes them.
He is insensitive, immature, down-right-disrespectful, but I decide to put up with it... I don't know what other woman (in her right mind) would. He calls me names (i.e. "you stupid bitch" when he gets mad), used to put me down all the time, gets angry over little things sometimes-- he does have a temper, I gotta say that much. He is 25 years old & is so financially unstable. He never saves up money. He always blows it. And oh another thing, he is a pothead from hell. He smokes weed everyday. He can't live without it. And he does other drugs, but I'm not going to go there... I can't say anything b/c I do them, too.
PS my guy has only called me a bitch once (when he was trying to make me break up with him) and lets just say...he's never made that mistake again.
ANYWAY what I really said when I was talking about insane was that sometimes I feel like I live in a crazy world with crazy people because of the way love makes us act. Like it's kinda crazy how people in abusive relationships stay in them for so many reasons. You know...I wasn't pointing the finger at you saying "WOW you are clinically insane lady". What I said was because love puts such a spell on EVERYONE I feel like it's a crazy world, you know as a joke. I dunno, maybe you wanna reread it because I wasn't being rude.
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