fantasizing about other women during sex
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fantasizing about other women during sex
| Thu, 09-23-2004 - 6:33pm |
My man told me the other day that "sometimes" he fantasizes about/ imagines other women while we are having sex/ making love. He says that he usually imagines a pornstar... not anyone in particular. This hurts a lot, but he says that it's normal for guys. He asked me, "Don't you think about other guys sometimes?" I replied, "No, I don't... I think about you and ONLY you." I know he loves me... we've been together almost 2 years.
Got any advice?

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P.S. you shouldn't be hurt by him. He doesn't love you or want to be with you any less because he fantasises.
E-MAIL ME AT: hightek669@yahoo.com & we can talk some more!!!
but hightek you have much much BIGGER problems than if your man is thinking about other women.
You want to marry someone who can't save money? who is 25 and has no future? and who calls you names?
It sounds like you have low self esteem. You need to make a change and lose the loser. It is not healthy at all for you or him to call each other names in a fight or not. What will happen if you do get married, have kids and he can't keep a job, pawns all your stuff and gets high all the time? Your kids will be messed up if they hear their mom and dad yelling and calling each other names. That is verbal abuse... and if he abuses you verbally, he may start to hurt you physically or verbally abuse your children.
You need to find someone that you respect -- someone you can be proud of - so that way you won't even think of calling him names, and he will respect you and won't call you names and won't be checking out other women with you next to him.
I almost think your post was fake, because I can't believe there is really a woman out there would want to settle with a guy like this.
I don't know how old you are, and I don't know your life situation, (you said that you and him are 2 peas in a pod) but even though I don't know you NO ONE deserves to be treated the way your man has treated you... and if you think low of yourself, you need to do something to improve yourself so that you will not put all up with this guy's abuse.
The only reason I feel like i should post this is b/c I was with someone for almost 4 years who was verbally abusive and was mean and insensitive. I got rid of him and found a wonderful man and I can't imagine why in the world I stayed with my jerk exboyfriend for so long.
Edited 9/29/2004 5:21 pm ET ET by batharine
Many men do fantasize about other women during sex..it seems natural and does not mean that your husband does not love, admire or desire you. If, this a great majority of the time, however, it can indicate that there is a problem and should be attended to.
I can understand that it would make you feel uneasy and unwanted. Talk to him about it further, without blaming or criticixing him. Just find out more about what's going on. Listen to what he tells you. Decide together what's the best way to go about this.
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