feeling displaced

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-08-2007
feeling displaced
3
Thu, 03-08-2007 - 7:04pm
I've been with my SO for 12 years. He has 1 child and I have 3. Our youngests are both 19. We've been engaged for about 4 years. I don't care, anymore, if we get married. Is it unreasonable for me to feel that he should make sure that I'm taken care of in the event of his death? Is it unreasonable for me to expect for him to pay for my health and auto insurance? He's financially well off and I'm not. He's recently bought more property and is feeling pinched, though he's anything but, and he's wanting for me to take over my own insurance. I know he doesn't want us to split up. He wants for us to stay together but have me pay for all of my own stuff and he wants me to defer to him as the man of the relationship. I know that if I don't defer to him he'll pout and if I bring anything up about the insurances he'll be upset. He's constantly talking about how he doesn't care about money. Conversely he claims to be short on money. I know for a fact that he has plenty. Here's where it gets really confusing...he buys me very expensive jewelry and handbags and offers to pay for cosmetic procedures that I like to have done on my face. Why does he pay for these frivolous (sp?) things and then want for me to pay my own way?!?
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Thu, 03-08-2007 - 7:34pm

Hi frustrated,


You feel what you feel, but I can't say I blame you.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-08-2007
Thu, 03-08-2007 - 8:17pm
OMG you did a great job of narrowing the whole thing down in to a log line. I just don't know what to do. When we met I was38 yrs old and I'm now 50. I feel paralyzed to do anything at my age.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Fri, 03-09-2007 - 12:08am

Hi frustrated,


If you don't care if you get married, maybe it's time to do your own thing.