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|Fri, 07-20-2012 - 12:58pm|
So we had an argument with my boyfriend of 10 months. Apparently, he's the type to accumulate things.
We talked about a certain contraception method that I was going to use. Well, I never called to take an appointment to install it. I kind of thought that it wasn't a priority, since we were using condoms (and he just bought a new box). We also talked about me doing a tatoo. We don't even have the exact picture in mind and it's expensive. He told me that if I didn't want it, it's ok, he's attracted to me anyway (but he would love a tatoo on my back). So I talked to him about it, but I didn't take any initiative with looking for the picture I like, etc. I also told him that I was going to do a belly dance for him, but didn't. However, I told him that I needed to practice, it's been a long time. I told him I was going to sing a song for him in my native language, but didn't. However, we didn't really have time, we just did other things.
So yea, to me, these were things that we were going to do, but there was no emergency.
So yesterday, he apparently had a difficult day. We had an argument about something. And then suddently, he comes to tell me how he feels that he doesn't feel that I take our relationship seriously. That I only do what I find important, but not what we talked about it. That he always does what he says, but not me, yada yada.
Somehow to me, it sounded like I don't do anything for him. Don't remember if he said that, I was really tired and sleepy during the argument. Well, it's a new relationship, we don't live together, what do I need to do ? I talk and listen to him, I make sure we have a good time together, we have great sex, I did help him with advice about certain things, I made a cake for his bday that he just loved, I got some things for his kids.
I really had the impression that he was saying all this to break up with me. At the end, turns out it was a vent and he seemed satisfied (when I promised that we'll do all this) and became nice and affectionate again.
I guess he has a communication issue. Doesn't know how to assertively ask for something. Instead, he starts by criticizing.
But the problem is that I'm turned off. I had the impression that he was happy. That he appreciated the little details I did for him (he always said it). And now, I feel like he doesn't. I mean, he could appreciate them and still request that I follow up on things that we agreed to do. But that's not how the argument went.
He used to be so in love. I used to be so wonderful for him, so it's a shock. Actually just last week, he said how good he feels when he's with me. That he never felt like that with anyone.
How do I feel good about myself again ?
Oh yea, and I did lie to him once, 2 months ago. It was a white lie that didn't affect him (I was too tired to stand my ground about something and found that lying was easier), except for the fact that I lied, so he remembered that of course and added to the other things he didn't like.....