Feeling Jealous or gut instinct

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-02-2004
Feeling Jealous or gut instinct
3
Mon, 08-02-2004 - 8:04pm
I am wondering a few things. My wife and I have been married for 10 years as of July16. We had a nice Dinner out I gave her a ring and a tiffany's necklace. Anyway my wife has been working out since February, one because she finally admitted to herself that she was heavier after having our two boys. 4 and 8. She has a 20yr class reunion in two weeks. She has been working out speciffaclly for this. She didn't put this much of a deal for our 10 year anniversary. She told me that I wasn't invited. I am going to the Happy Hour the night before. She has also told me that she is staying at her best friends house. She was on the phone today making plans for me and the boys for that day. I am getting a weird feeling from this. Earlier in the the year she said that her and her best friend were going to get a hotel room. Whats also weird is her best friends Mom is going to chauffer them anyways, only about a half hour away from our home. She is always weird about wearing her wedding rings , " i'v got a rash under the rings" so I don't want it to itch.

I once confronted her of cheating on me and she blew a top. saying "how dare me even ask." She said if I ever ask that again she would leave.

How do I handle this? do I suck it up or find a way to go?

I am getting eattin up inside for nerves about this.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2003
Mon, 08-02-2004 - 8:43pm
There is nothing like a reunion to get a woman motivated to lose weight. I went through the same thing. And if I could do it again I would have gone to my reunion without my husband. He didn't know anyone and I felt uneasy trying to make sure he was entertained yet wanting to catch up with a lot of people. He wound up spending a lot of time in the hotel bar watching the World Series that night with some other husbands.

Now maybe you have other reasons to believe that she is cheating. How is your marriage? Are you connected? Does she flirt with other men? is she seretive about her email address? Does she go out a lot and you don't know where she is?

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-04-2004
Thu, 08-05-2004 - 6:46pm
Hello there,

I have a few questions for you.

1. Are you both happily married?

2. Do you still have passion on an intimate level?

3. Have there ever been any past incidents to make you feel this way?

4. Is your wife good to you/treat you right?

5. What did your wife get you for your anniversary?

6. Does your wife never wear her wedding rings or is it just occationally?

If your answers to these questions are on a positive note, then I just think you might be feeling a bit of the Green Monster. Obviously you have both been married for some time and occationally there is nothing wrong with letting your hair down (as they call it). Reunion's are a big thing! I am sure your wife just wants to look her best and feel proud of herself, so she can brag about her wonderful husband and two precious children. She just wants to show off a bit! Its also common to stay at a hotel, when attending a reunion. When I received my reunion information, it included an obtional price to stay overnight at the hotel the reunion was taking place at. I honestly do not think that there is anything wrong with this situation. As far as her wedding rings go....irratation does happen! I use to get a major indent on my wedding ring finger and it would itch sometimes. I use to take my rings off anytime I went to the beach, had my hands in chemicals because I was cleaning, Swimming, Cooking. It was like giving my finger a rest for a bit. If you and your wife have a good solid marriage, then I wouldn't worry about it. Trust is a very important factor in a relationship. If something really is amiss, it will eventually all come out in the wash. Also, one more thing before I go.........make a point to attend an event or even your reunion, on your own with one of your friends; and then you will understand the concept of my opinion.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
Thu, 08-05-2004 - 8:04pm
Based upon what you said, I don't see any real evidence of cheating (ie. coming home late, cell phone ringing in the middle of the night, hard to locate at times). You've been married a long time and I'm assuming you've spent a lot of time together over the years, for her to go to her reunion with friends is not a bad thing. The weight loss and caring about how she looks is a great thing. A lot of men would envy that. Maybe instead of focusing on what she's doing you could join a gym yourself or go out with your friends sometimes. Hope everythings works out!