Feeling smothered.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-11-2012
Feeling smothered.
5
Wed, 01-11-2012 - 1:45pm

I am a SAHM with a three year old girl.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2009
Wed, 01-11-2012 - 2:13pm

Your husband sounds clingy, alright. His insecurity is preventing you from feeling like a separate human being rather than a conjoined twin. I don't blame you for feeling smothered- If I were in your position I might be smothering him with a pillow in his sleep (kidding!)

Just because this wasn't an earth-shattering problem a few years ago doesn't mean you're not entitled to be upset now. Problems like these get exponentially worse over time.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-11-2012
Wed, 01-11-2012 - 2:49pm

Getting a job is #1 on my to do list.

Avatar for tobermory
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-29-2001
Wed, 01-11-2012 - 8:37pm

I wanted to say that I completely understand how you feel, but I also feel that this could be a fixable problem. My husband was rather clingy when I got him, and it grew to get on my nerves. But with marital therapy he understood how his behavior affected me and he hasn't behaved that way in a couple of decades. If you think you could get him to go to counseling, I think it would be worthwhile, especially since you have a child. This in no way means that I think you should not get a job or find another way to empower yourself. I am just saying that I don't think this means it has to be a lost cause.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Wed, 01-11-2012 - 9:11pm

I think it's very difficult for some women who have worked and been financially independent and probably in charge of other people at work to be a SAHM.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2009
Thu, 01-12-2012 - 12:29am

If you've talked to him, and it doesn't sink in, then the next step would be marriage counseling.

Getting a job sounds like a good idea, but it's NOT going to solve the problem that you have with HIM.