feeling smothered!

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-08-2006
feeling smothered!
1
Sun, 04-08-2007 - 4:18am

Dear Dr. Shoshanna (and anyone else please!),

I'm about to sound like the most selfish person, but here it goes. My boyfriend and I have been together for a year and a half. He is the romance fantasy: all-adoring, eager to please, love you know matter what. But the problem is that there's too much of this good thing. Besides getting along with his roommates, he's cut off all his friendships and doesn't have any hobbies outside of dating me. He's not possessive though. He never objects that I go out with my friends and maintain my own activities besides him. I've always believed that's how to have a healthy relationship. I just wish he thought the same.

It's getting to the point where our relationship isn't growing because, well, there's not much to talk about on his end of the stick that doesn't have to do with us. I want to hear about the things he does besides me. I want him to have friends. I want new stories to share. He says he doesn't need any of that because he has me. For so many months I've encouraged him to get out and try new things but he's says he's happy the way things are. What do I do?

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-30-2005
Mon, 04-09-2007 - 12:34pm

Welcome to the board sfallie,


If you bf is happy with his life being like this, can you be happy about it also? It sounds like he is content and not likely to change his ways soon. You could suggest going out sometime with his old friends in hope that he would start waiting to hang out with them more.