fell out of love????

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-19-2004
fell out of love????
1
Fri, 05-21-2004 - 11:52am
My husband and I were married when I was 21 years old after finding out I was expecting a baby with him. We both thought we wanted to get married anyway so my way of thinking was we might as well do it now. So when our little girl was 4 months old we had a quick ceremony was only a few close family and friends.

It has been 3 years now and we have another 1 year old child.

Over the past year I have started losing feelings for my husband. And as of right now I can honestly say I am not in love with him and I think of him more as a brother or roomate. We have not slept in the same room for 2 and a half years. The only sexual relations we had was to concieve our second child. You are all probably wondering why we had another child. Well as silly as this sounds. I really had no career to go back to after our first child and my husband made enough money for me to stay at home. I was loving that lifestyle and thought I wanted to keep having babies and be a housewife. Now there is so much more I want to do with my life. I am tired of depending on my husband for everything and want to get out there and do things for myself.

The big thing is the thought of staying with my husband for the rest of life actually depresses me. There is no attraction there anymore, and I don't see it coming back.

Is it possible to "fall out of love?" Is there any hope for us. Right now I have decided to stay together for the kids but that is not going very well and is affecting everyone.

HELP!!! And advice would be appreciated.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-04-2003
Fri, 05-21-2004 - 12:22pm
Finding 'inner fulfillment', something that makes you happy and fills you up is very important. I don't see why you can't start on that goal while living where you are. Take a class, get a part time job (adult interaction after taking care of kids all day is important).

Also consider counseling, by yourself, and possibliy with him. People do fall out of love and people can fall in love again if they invest the time, effort and energy into making it happen.

Reading material to consider:

Relationship Rescue by Phil McGraw

A Couple's Guide to Communication, John Mordechai Gottman

His Needs, Her Needs by Dr. Willard F. Harley Jr

Getting the Love You Want, Harville Hendrix

Good luck to you.


Carrie