on the fence
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on the fence
| Thu, 08-09-2007 - 8:18pm |
here we go... my boyfriend and i were in a very serious relationship, however it's only been 6 months. we're both in college. he's passive aggressive and i WAS overly argumentative. when we began our relationship i was ending another one that had been on and off for 3 years. needless to say i was not able to become attached to him as quickly as he did to me. in may he moved in with me. i've met his parents, he's met mine... we've been on vacation together, and we got a puppy together. anyways our relationship got very intense VERY quickly. he decided early on in the relationship that i was the person that he wanted to spend his life with. i was quite literally his world... anyways, we had the normal bickering and fights that ensue in any relationship. however the problem was that most of the time i would start a fight that had nothing to do with our relationship, but it had to do with a previous one. anyways over time our fights became bad. and i began to realize that i was putting walls up to see if he cared enough to break them down. two weeks ago i realized how head over heels in love i was with him. and i finally consciously recognized what i was doing. it was at that moment that i knew things were going to change. a week ago i met him at work and he said that he was done with me, that i wasn't over my ex and that he couldn;t give me what i wanted. two days later he moved out. it's since then that i have realized a lot about myself and also realized how much he means to me and how unfair i was to him. he keeps telling me that he loves me, he's just not in love with me. and what he said was that he will always care about me... he just doesn't care if i'm with someone else. and i personally can't figure it out. this is a guy who wanted to move in with me... wanted to spend his life with me... and now he is telling me that it's all over like that? that he doesn't care if i'm not with him? the fact of the matter is that i want to be with him... only him. and i don't want this relationship to be over. i want to fight for it. i want to take responsibility for it. i want him to be mine. and i can't figure out if he'll ever feel that way again. i can tell he still cares about me from the few times we have spoken since the incident... he smiles and has a twinkle in his eye... but i can't figure out if that's just inconsequential. and if it really is over. is there no hope for this relationship?
Signatures On
| Thu, 08-09-2007 - 8:34pm |
You fell for someone too soon after ending your past relationship, moved it incredibly fast, and now it's ruined. That happens. I think you should take this experience and chalk it up to a big mistake you won't make again. Let him move on, and you should spend some time being single before you try to find the right guy for you. This post is all about what YOU want, that you've finally discovered how much you love him, but you haven't really given a whole lot of thought to what HE wants. Obviously he was not being treated the way he needed to be, he became overly dependent upon you and let himself act like a fool for you (to move in and buy a puppy together after such a short time). His feelings for you turned bitter, he ended it with you, and you should move on. Breaking off contact would be best for the both of you.
