Fiance is a Perv & it's driving me nuts!
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| Fri, 03-12-2004 - 3:15pm |
I caught my fiancee on the phone with one of his ex-girlfriends jerking off. I reamed him about it and he said that she (the ex) didn't know what he was doing, that they were not talking about anything sexual. He said that jerking off like that is just a habbit. A few days later I caught him on the internet asking for a woman's phone number so they could have phone sex. I know he loves me but I really don't like the fact that he is calling his ex or strange women to have phone sex with them. I've begged him not to do this, not to call other women. He said that the only reason he calls them is it's easier to talk to them on the phone and jerk off than it is to jerk off and type on the computer. Apparently he is on his webcam messing around with other women all the time. He says it's not cheating but I feel like it is. I'm afraid to go to sleep before him because I'm afraid I'll wake up and he will be doing it again. I hate going to work on his days off for the same reason. I am thinking about leaving him (again, left once before because of this but came back when he promised not to do it anymore), but I don't have any money nor do I have anywhere to go at this time. Please help me, am I overreacting or underreacting? I think I should leave, but I'm just not sure.

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Let's cut to the chase here.
If you're suspicious of your fiancee before you take the vows....things will only get progressively worse after the honeymoon!
Pianoguy noticed you used the word "PERV" when you referenced the guy you plan to marry. Does this conjure up any sort of respect for the man you want to spend the rest of your life with?
I'm not suggesting that this guy is perfect, but when YOU are already uncomfortable by his actions with other women (on the phone or the internet)....what's keeping you with him? (Unless he's got a non-stop libido)!
Drop him...and let him enjoy his "harem!"
Meanwhile...move on with your life!
Pianoguy
I think the response you got when you posted before was pretty much unanimous that you are NOT overreacting!
Sheri
What did you think of that last responses to your post?
'again, left once before because of this but came back when he promised not to do it anymore'
And is he living up to his promise? This isn't just a habit like biting your fingernails and it *is* cheating.
Do you have any income or family friends to help you out?
Oh, my gosh, he's STEALING from you too?
Carrie
oh man.... honey, there never is a "good time" to leave. i would be scared to live with someone like that. i walked out on my STBX a few months ago, i also had no money (lucky i had a job), but i knew that it was my life and my son's life that were at stake, and you know what - i still have no money, but i discovered that there ar ea lot of great people out there, and if you are willing to lower (i mean REALLY lower) your standard of living for a while, then just do it....
sorry about your miscarriage.... sorry about this whole sorry story.
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