Fiance is a Perv & it's driving me nuts!
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| Fri, 03-12-2004 - 3:15pm |
I caught my fiancee on the phone with one of his ex-girlfriends jerking off. I reamed him about it and he said that she (the ex) didn't know what he was doing, that they were not talking about anything sexual. He said that jerking off like that is just a habbit. A few days later I caught him on the internet asking for a woman's phone number so they could have phone sex. I know he loves me but I really don't like the fact that he is calling his ex or strange women to have phone sex with them. I've begged him not to do this, not to call other women. He said that the only reason he calls them is it's easier to talk to them on the phone and jerk off than it is to jerk off and type on the computer. Apparently he is on his webcam messing around with other women all the time. He says it's not cheating but I feel like it is. I'm afraid to go to sleep before him because I'm afraid I'll wake up and he will be doing it again. I hate going to work on his days off for the same reason. I am thinking about leaving him (again, left once before because of this but came back when he promised not to do it anymore), but I don't have any money nor do I have anywhere to go at this time. Please help me, am I overreacting or underreacting? I think I should leave, but I'm just not sure.

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Then somebody said to me "A leopard cannot change it's spots."
So with that I let a few weeks pass, even a few months and during that time my husband really did seem to make an effort to be more pleasant. Actually he became too nice, going way out of his way to impress me I guess. During that time I referred to him as my pseudo husband. I was not familiar with this individual. LOL
So now 4 months have passed and every day he is reverting back to his old ways. If I continually point the facts out to him, he then recognizes that he is doing it but if I leave him to his ways.....he's right back at it. So I guess a leopard cannot change it's spots about sums it up.
He is not your responsibility.
i am really sorry for this but please DO NOT fall this --- its one of the OLDEST tricks in the book. if he decides to "hurt himself" --- there is NOTHING that you can about it, really. but usually
honey, again, nobody can DO this for you. i do't know where you live, or what kind of governmental help is available in terms of housing, food stamps, etc ---- but get help and get out. that is the only advice you are going to get here.
there are ALWAYS reasons for NOT leaving. i know, i've lived in a very unhealthy marriage for seven years, and i used every excuse. and they were all VALID reasons - i didn't have money; i had cancer; couldn't work more than i was working; could'nt get a different (possibly higher paying) job; i thought it would be harmful for my DS (now 17, my son from my previous marriage) to go thru another divorce; etc etc etc.
well---- what can i say, i moved out, with no money, i spoke with my boss and got some extra hours, i do work at home when i can, i can barely keep my head above water ---- but i am out of a dangerous situation, and my son is out of a dangerous situation. no - its not great, but it will get better. and its something that i am doing.
get help for yourself, and get out.
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