My fiance resents my
My two cents:
Your Dad was right to express his concerns.
Your father did nothing but tell the truth WHEN ASKED. What was he supposed to do, lie?
He didn't turn his back on you, give you an ultimatum or show any disrespect to your bf--he simply spoke up about his concerns. Think about it for a moment, if he were to lie and conceal his feelings and then, at some point in the future, those very things that concern him now end up being a problem for you, how would he feel? Look, he's your Dad, he cares about you, and sometimes being a good parent isn't easy.
Do you really want advice? Try reading what you posted and imagine if some other woman posted that. What would you tell her? What would you think of her fiance'?
I cannot imagine holding onto such a resentment. First he asked for permission. My take is that if you won't like the answer then don't ask the question. Your father not only gave a good reason why he initially could not but he recanted because of your request even though you agreed with him. Your father apologized.
Then almost a year later, your fiance' was rude and he disrespected not only your father but your mother as well.
Your fiance is a REAL jerk!
I think the way your fiance is acting is very childish.
Thanks for your replies. My fiance's parents are divorced, which happened not long before we met and began dating. He has a relationship with both of them, but the dynamic is much different than with my family - they are content spending little time together and are not as affectionate as my family. He asked my father for permission because I had stressed to him how important family is to me... I actually never expected that he would ask for permission, and I myself find it rather outdated, but my fiance explained that he did it out of respect for my parents and because he thought it would make me happy.
The decision to move out of state was mine, and had been made and finalized well before we got engaged (I had accepted a job offer for post-grad). My fiance was thrilled because we're now living in a great city with a lot more to do and see (and, I suspect, because he thought it might leave some of the family drama behind). I see this move as a step in my career and plan to be here for a few years and then move closer to our home state or to a smaller town, and my fiance has been supportive of this as well. As for his career, he has found temporary work but nothing with benefits or real long-term leads. We are starting out so we each have student debt, but his is about 3X mine. We have agreed that paying our debt off is a priority but that we won't pay the other's for them unless necessary to avoid default.
Is this grudge your fiance is bearing, an isolated grudge.