Fiancee cyber cheating

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-09-2003
Fiancee cyber cheating
6
Sun, 04-22-2007 - 6:49pm
My fiancee and I are currently in a long distance relationship while he is away getting his Masters degree for one year. I recently found out he had a MySpace page I was unaware of and clearly has alot of female friends and makes no mention of me. I also discovered he has a profile on XTube (like a porn MySpace) and took a picture of his you know what. He said his turnoffs were good girls (which is what I am) and he liked tongue rings, long hair, black nail polish. Stuff I couldnt believe. I am just devastated. Some people might say this is not a big deal, but if he is willing to do this, and if he was presented with an opportunity in real life to cheat on me, would he take it? Im just so confused. This is a man Im supposed to marry. Meanwhile he tells he me he loves me, that he couldnt imagine being without me, blah blah. Can someone really be so two-faced?
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 04-22-2007 - 7:05pm
Yes, way too many people are. What do you want to do about it? Have you thought about it?

Photobucket

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Sun, 04-22-2007 - 7:22pm

Welcome to the board rmh77,


Sorry you have to go through this.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-22-2007
Sun, 04-22-2007 - 7:33pm

Hi, let's take a logical look at these facts.

*Long distance relationship* while he is *away* getting his Masters degree for one year.

a MySpace page you're *unaware* of, which clearly has alot of *female friends* added and makes *no mention of you*.

Also discovered a profile on *XTube and took a picture of his private area.*

He said his *turnoffs were good girls (which is what I am*) and *he liked tongue rings, long hair, black nail polish.* Stuff I couldn't believe.

Meanwhile he tells he me he loves you, that he couldnt imagine being without you.

Can someone really be so two-faced? - Simplest answer? Yes.

Ok so now we summed up everything we needed to out of your lovely paragraph, you may take note i marked key area's with Asterisks ( * )and changed a few words to reflect you.

Now if you take all those key points to note, you can easily work out that he is definitely two faced. For me to workout he has been cheating? No i cannot. But want an easy clue? His picture.

I don't like doing this to people, but these here are cold and hard facts of who he pretends not to be. You should confront him with this, and talk to him about it. But do remember one thing, you are the victim here not him.

On another note i couldn't see how someone would consider this not such a bad thing. It is classed as a high level of deception.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-17-2007
Fri, 05-18-2007 - 12:43pm

I am so sorry to hear what you are going through. Relationships are very dificult, especially from a distance. And by no means am I saying that what your guy is doing is okay, but perhaps you should reflect as to what the possible reasons for his behaviour could be?

I am currently in a longterm serious relationship. Discussions of marriage. Property purchased together. The works. I love this man without a doubt! But for some reason I have started having a cyber affair with a man across the world who is not even close to being someone I would normally socialize with! I know this is wrong, but I can't seem to stop thinking about this other guy. After careful reflection on why I would act so out of character, I realised these 'feelings' weren't about this other guy. It had nothing to do with him! He is only involved by circumstance. It's about my uneasiness with the predictability of my current realtionship. It scares me. If our relationship has lost the excitement after 5 years, how is it going to be after 10? or 15? We are in a horrible rut. A beyond predictable horrible rut. I have not stopped loving him. I would never EVER cheat on him. And without a doubt want to spend the rest of my life with him. So I sat down and talked to him about it. We need to make a change. And we need to put us first. We need to be spontaneous! We need to be open to the other person's desires and fantasies!
Perhaps your fiance is experiencing similar feelings I was. He loves you. He respects you. And perhaps he is terrified to ask you to be a 'bad girl' because of it. And remember. The cyber world isn't reality. What people say and what they do are 2 very different things ...

I hope that helps.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-29-2006
Fri, 05-18-2007 - 1:52pm

I am going to be completly honest with you: You need to wise up and realize that this guy is playing you. I'm sorry, I know that is not easy to hear but if your guy is going to take a picture of his private parts for all the world to see, than he will definitely cheat if he already isn't.


In a relationship for me, TRUST will always be number 1! I can not, will not, constantly ask myself, "what is he doing when I am not their?" "Who is he talking to?" Etc, etc.


I really hope you don't stand for this, because if you take it, more will come.


Mechelle

Pregnancy ticker

 

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-06-2005
Fri, 05-18-2007 - 3:44pm
i am going through the same thing ish..
catch him out it may hurt you but at least yr know now then a few years down the line..
were all gettting older and if he is not mr wright there is some one out there who is..
best way to find out whats he been doing is go to google webb site and type his name in see what comes up..
also his nick name what he calles him self..also if it has numbers in change the last digit or some thing.. you may or may not find any thing but its a atart...
also go to them webb sits and you log in but change yr details age.name addrress etc.. then email him see if he replys..
let me know how ya get on..