FIL problems like father like son + more
Find a Conversation
| Tue, 06-12-2007 - 6:35pm |
I also have in law issues and am not finding a similar problem (you guys seem to have it much worse, Im sorry to say , and surprised not so many posts about FILs) My problem is this. I do not like or respect my inlaws. I believe they feel the same about me. (My husband denies this) I have no respect for them for a number of reasons which are too numerous for this board but the main problem is my father in law is an alcoholic, who has not held a job for any length of time and basically would rather golf than pay a bill. My mother in law is a doormat. I do not like spending time with them and luckily I usually only have to about once a month. My husband on the other hand is constantly on the phone with mostly his worthless father , whom I feel is a very bad influence.
His father has cheated on his mother numerous times and I feel that many of his bad habits have rubbed off on his son (the apple doesn't fall far from the tree) My husband spends time with his father at least once a week and tends to come back drunk or overly tired or both after a LONG day of golf. He is much more chauvinistic (sorry for the spelling) after golf with dad, probably b/c of the influence and b/c of the alcohol (husband drinks, too). Rather than a cheating problem (that I know of , but I do wonder as I have a hard time trusting my husband.) , my husband likes to gamble (his father is not an excessive gambler) and I cannot trust him with my ATM as he will take extra money causing me to run the risk of bouncing checks if I cannot find replacement money fast. (This is where some of the trust issue comes in , I think.) We have no children (my choice). Any advice?

Your husband's relationship with his family is his business. He has every right to stay in close touch with them and see them once a week if he wishes.
It's A New Day With Dr Shoshanna - Wed. 2-3 EST.
Welcome to the board molly142,
I would suggest asking your husband to go to marriage counseling with you. Even if your father in law were out of the picture, you and your husband would still have problems. I would also suggest getting a new bank account and new bank card that he doesn't have access to that way he can't get money out without your permission/knowledge.
glitter-graphics.com
Molly,
I just wanted to let you know that Dr. Shoshanna usually doesn't respond twice to someone posts. So don't be upset if you don't hear anything back from her.
My guess on what she was saying is that your distrust in your husband is different than the feelings and issues you have from your father in law and while you can stay away from your father in law, you can't run from the issue with your husband and that professional help would be good.
I agree with you. You have every reason not to trust your husband. He has proven that to you.
Would he consider looking to AA or gamblers anonymous. Does he think/realize he has problems in these areas?
glitter-graphics.com