IMHO only, 'not ready for a r-ship due to (insert problem)' is a coward's way of saying 'I don't think I'm into you enough to want to have a r-ship with you'. Honestly.. put yourself in his place - anyone's place who says he can't be with you because he is financially unstable/busy at work/has family problems/too many other committments/scared of the past repeating itself etc etc - wouldn't you, in a difficult set of circumstances, want a 'light at the end of a tunnel' in the shape of a super hot new romantic interest, with long term potential? You would. Unless
ok.. well here's the situation in short... well it seems to me like he backed away and was insecure because he has to work overtime to make the money he needs to support himself and his family and he told me he wants to start saving some for the future.. as a result of this he has very little time to spend with me. i, on the other hand, am financially stable and dont have the problem he's having. for this reason, while we were dating, which was a short period not that long, we saw each other very little (once a week maybe 2) because of his work schedule. after he told me he needs some time, for a while i was having self-doubt and was very insecure thinking that maybe he lost interest in me? maybe i should just move on instead of waiting for him to make up his mind? he told me he needs time...didnt tell me exactly why but that he just wasnt ready...but then from the hints he's given me in previous conversations (saying things like jokingly saying well you can pay the rent and ill take care of you-talking about the future... and once we had a convo and he was so stressed out bc he's got to work all the time and he wants to make a name for himself he had wanted to go to college but doesnt have the money or the time bc he has to work) so just thinking about all this.. is there a possibility that this guy is interested but he's just insecure about his financial situation (plus the fact that im stable) and that maybe i should cut him some slack?? he did text me a few days ago telling me he will let me know when he has off and come to see me...what's a girl to do??
When a man says "it's not you, it's me" - believe him. In whatever context he says it, he's telling you that if you stay with him you will have been warned, and if he breaks up with you it's for your own good.
When you say he has to support his family are you talking about his parents and siblings or the children he has fathered?
Men are really touchy when it comes to money and being able to contribute towards a relationship or take care of a woman or his wife and kids. It's about ego but there is also a practical side..if he feels he cant make you happy with dates that may cost some money and a lifestyle that he knows you would want..he isnt going to date you.
I think that there is a possibility he is touchy about it and i would think that he wants to take me out on dates but cant really afford them... and i do want to contribute i have offered to pay (and have paid) before...
I want him to know that i am not the type to just blow him off because he cant afford to take me out... i want to spend time with him but thats almost impossible because he works all the time.. i had offered a movie night with him and he said he was working.. he's ALWAYS busy (apparently with work)... so its like is this distance between us because of his financial situation and that he's working all the time or is it something else (is he just avoiding me/over me?)..and i dont want to keep trying to see him and make this hard situation work if in case the reason is that he doesnt want to make it work.. then that would really hurt me if i tried and wasted my
I don't intend to be mean, but I have read this reply several times, as in maybe 5 -6 times, and I have absolutely no idea of what it is you are trying to say.
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You don't say what is causing his financial instability -- lost his
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Welcome to the board missd2008,
Two words: Believe Him.
When you say he has to support his family are you talking about his parents and siblings or the children he has fathered?
Men are really touchy when it comes to money and being able to contribute towards a relationship or take care of a woman or his wife and kids. It's about ego but there is also a practical side..if he feels he cant make you happy with dates that may cost some money and a lifestyle that he knows you would want..he isnt going to date you.
He has to support his parents who are overseas...
I think that there is a possibility he is touchy about it and i would think that he wants to take me out on dates but cant really afford them... and i do want to contribute i have offered to pay (and have paid) before...
I want him to know that i am not the type to just blow him off because he cant afford to take me out... i want to spend time with him but thats almost impossible because he works all the time.. i had offered a movie night with him and he said he was working.. he's ALWAYS busy (apparently with work)... so its like is this distance between us because of his financial situation and that he's working all the time or is it something else (is he just avoiding me/over me?)..and i dont want to keep trying to see him and make this hard situation work if in case the reason is that he doesnt want to make it work.. then that would really hurt me if i tried and wasted my
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