Financial Stress

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-27-2004
Financial Stress
3
Tue, 01-27-2004 - 1:33pm
My husband and I have been arguing all day. It's all snowy and it's cold and I so want to go on vacation someplace warm even if it's for a weekend. I say even next winter...I say not right now, but I want to know that we are planning on it. Before I met him and was married I was a free spirit spur of the moment type person off to Floria or wherever when I felt like it. But my husband wants to plan he want's to save he doesn't want to put any vacation on credit cards and he want's a full grand in saving when we go on vacation. How can I agrue with that? It sounds so perfect...but my agrument is that you only live once and I dont' want to spend my life saving and worrying. I'd like to enjoy it. What if God forbid one of us gets sick and can't go do anything. We've not gone on any big trips just weekend getaways here in the Midwest...Hee Haaw, yeah they are fun. But it's not my idea of fun and sun and relaxing. He wants to plan all these things to do. I want to go do a few things but I want to relax by the pool on the beach and have zero responsiblilty and get away from everything. I keep crying and crying here at work and I"m embarassed b/c everyone knows I'm upset, i just don't know what to do about all of this. Any smart ladies or men with any advise?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2003
In reply to: metmer
Tue, 01-27-2004 - 1:46pm
'What if God forbid one of us gets sick and can't go do anything. '

Then, honestly you will be glad you don't have credit card debt when those medical bills come in.

Are finances a constant issue? Or is planning/being spontaneous an issue? Those are personality traits that are hard to change and harder to ask someone to change.

'I say even next winter'

That seems reasonable. Can't you save enough by then w/o going into debt?

What about going with some girlfriends? That way the cost is less.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-27-2004
In reply to: metmer
Tue, 01-27-2004 - 2:04pm
Yes they are personality traits and mine is spontanious.

Well, finances aren't great, we paid for our wedding and we just bought a house. We don't even know how much the taxes will be yet. We need to buy our wedding photos (the wedding was 8 months ago) and we need to pay his parents back around 6-7 hundred. So there is all of that in our face. And yes we could save up for a trip, but he wants this $1000 padding on top of it. It sounds responsible and all of that, but you know you can't take it with you!!! I've lived Out west I've lived on the east coast and I've travled to pretty much wherever I wanted whenever I wanted. And that was all well and good but I want to enjoy some of that with my husband. I just feel defeated I feel defensive. I just want him to go on vacation and enjoy life. But I want to be responsible to. I dont' know what to do.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-22-2003
In reply to: metmer
Tue, 01-27-2004 - 4:07pm
Sit down with your husband, check out your accounts and decide if it is possible to plan this vacation by making some sacrifices on other fronts. maybe if he sees it on paper that you can reasonably afford it he will say yes. Then again, if you see it clearly on paper that you can*not* afford it, you will be convinced that hubby is right.

One can be impulsive and reasonable as well, as long as she realizes that she cannot have it all. If you wanted the big wedding, well, you'll have to skip the trip. If you could not resist the mall, then something else will have to go. Spending money you don't have is not "spur of the moment," is reckless. You don't need to save and save and save: just decide how much money you can set aside for "fun" expenses, and then stick to your budget.

Otherwise, as Gina says, check out *your* own money and go on your own with your girlfriends!