Is This Financially Fair?
Find a Conversation
Is This Financially Fair?
| Mon, 01-19-2004 - 2:46pm |
Hi! I'm in the middle of ending a 7++ year relationship. I've posted about it a few months ago & really appreciate all of the input I've received. I'm very much looking forward to being on my own & starting a new life!! My now ex-boyfriend has been saying that the relationship was financially unfair to him & he feels taken advantage of. I think hes being a big baby, but I want y'alls (yes, I'm from Texas) opinion to see if his point is valid or not. He is 16 years older than me & is financially secure. When I moved in 6 years ago, it was a mutual decision. Neither of us had lived w/anyone else before. Small sidenote- when the relationship started having problems a few years ago he started insisting that I forced him to let me move in. He says that it was a huge sacrifice to let me move in & basically I should feel honored because he had never lived w/a girlfriend before. Anyway, his house was paid off well before I moved in & he never asked me to help out w/homeowner's insurance, taxes, etc. When we started having problems a few years ago, he said that when I moved in he asked me to pay rent & I refused. He never asked me to pay rent. When the relationship started going downhill is when he started complaing that I wasn't helping out financially. But for the past 6 years I've paid half of the utilities (cable, gas, phone, electric, etc), I usually end up buying 75% of the groceries, I spend approx. $100 a month on litter & food for HIS cats, plus vet bills, etc. Granted he does pay for 95% of the dinners out, movies, etc. I feel its been a financially fair relationship by me paying for half of the utilities. He is upset because I havent' contributed to the homeowners insurance & taxes. I dont feel like I should have. I have no stake in his house, my name isn't on it nor on any of the bills. I haven't been able to decorate, hang pictures, etc. So why should I contribute to something that is in no way mine. If we had purchased a home together or if he was even still making payments on his house, it would be a different story. I wouldn't have a problem contributing towards the house then. Am I being selfish or is he being greedy? Really need a fresh opinion on this. Thanks!

Probably a good thing you are breaking up. Just be aware, after you are gone he will blame you and hold a grudge that you didn't pay more than you already have.
Have you pointed out all the things you have paid for?
Carrie
A relationship is never 100% equal. Even if he got say $300/month in rent from you back then, it wouldn't be enough now.
Let it go. You did the things you did, utilities, cat, groceries, etc. because you wanted to. He'll have to own up to his own choices.
Carrie
I wouldn't pay, and I wouldn't lose any sleep over it, either.
Peace - Pebbles
If not,just let it go and walk away. It doesn't matter who is right. Sounds like a good decision to berak up.