Fixing My Mistakes
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Fixing My Mistakes
| Mon, 06-18-2007 - 6:33pm |
A couple of weeks ago I cheated on my boyfriend and since then we have been going through the motions. We are not a couple anymore, but he still comes around and we do everything as if we were a couple however, he will not kiss me at all and will only have sex with me if he feels like it. At that time I know it is not us making love and enjoying each other, but simply sex to satisfy his needs at the time. We have talked about trying to work through this and it has been said that if I make changes then we can discuss our future. The changes that I am making are changes that will (with or without him) make me a better person. They are not changes for him, but for me. Well basically, this weekend is coming and I want to do something special for him that does not involve sex. There was a time when we had lots of time to spend together alone, I would do things like give him pedicures and massages and things like that which I thought I could do something like that, but right now I am lost as to what to do. That is question #1 what should I do to make it a special day for him. The second question is although we are not a couple (which only he and I know this) we still act like one. I just don't want to get my hopes up for him to decide that no he doesn't want to be with me anymore. Am I kidding myself, he is here and he is here because he wants to be and we will eventually be back together?

I'm confused. You said that you're "not a couple". But you also call him your boyfriend.
What, exactly, is the type of relationship you have?
he is only spending time with you so that he can make you feel bad about what you did for him. he will never be able to make you feel as bad as he feels so he will just keep trying.
how long are you going to live with him hurting you like this over and over!?!?!
Welcome to the board tawanal,
Most couple's cannot overcome the betrayal of cheating and rebuild trust without counseling.
I guess I'm not seeing the "punishment" everyone else is seeing???
Just know that with you having broken his trust, actually, his biggest trust in you, it's going to be a huge challenge for both you to gain it back from him and for him to give it to you again.
What you can do is be consistent.
I have no idea why he's still seeing you if you're not a couple anymore. It sounds like you two broke up when he found out that you cheated..? If you broke up, is he back just for sex? Is that all that's going on? Do you do other things as well. If he's back just for sex (not love making as you say), this is disrespectful to you, as if he's treating you like a sexual object rather than a woman he respects and cares for. It could be he's punishing you in this way for what happened. And you are probably staying in the situation to hold onto him.
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