Forgetting someone

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-20-2011
Forgetting someone
5
Sun, 11-20-2011 - 8:23am

Ok...I fell in love with my best friend last year...but at the time he was already breaking my heart, he made new friends, he was totally ignoring me, never invited me when he was going out and in the end, he even told me with an ironic way that he didn't want to be friend with me cause I was not that interesting and out-going. So I decided to take my revenge, which was, in my point of view, making my own friends and having good time without him. So, I stopped calling him or even saying hello to him when I was seeing him at the faculty. It felt so good, especially when I learned that he cared, I once had to go to his place and he asked me why I was ignoring him exc...it really felt good, but the thing is, it's not that I was trying to forget him, I was still in love with him and I had fallen into the trap of revenge : it feels good every day more and more, but we get dependent to it, and all of our life is about how to hurt this person. So, after 2 months, I realise that I was still madly in love with him, and I decided to talk back to him and for this time, try to have a realtonship, now that we weren't that kind of best friends. I though that he would be nice to me this time, and he actually was. My problem was that I didn't want him to be friends with my group of people, cause that was my line of revenge :doing to him what he did to me, having other friends so I can ignore him when I want to. Anyway, after a weeks and weeks, he did became very good friend with my people, he broke my heart again, this time telling me that he can't see my in a more that friendly way. He also flirted with my best friend, ans she responded in the most cruel way, she told me to forget about him for good, but in the other hand, she was flirting with him in front of my eyes. The point of all this story is, he ''took'' all of my friends again, I am not in love with him anymore, but I do think of what he thinks of me, I have this horrible feeling that he laughs at me everyday now that he has my friends. It's history repeating and I can't stand it, and I don't want to start it all over again, making a new group of friends and try to hurt him, what I really want is to truly forget him and yes, make new friends but not on the purpose to show off to him...I just want to live a life that doesn't involve him at all, but that seems so hard...please if you have good advices, I really want to know them.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2011
Sun, 11-20-2011 - 11:04am
Cut all contact, go cold turkey and let go of the revenge (easier said than done )
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2009
Sun, 11-20-2011 - 12:26pm

You were never "in love" with this man........you had a "crush" on him.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-17-2009
Sun, 11-20-2011 - 1:43pm

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-20-2011
Sun, 11-20-2011 - 2:59pm

You are right in everything you said, the only thing is, I didn't want to take my revenge because he was not interested in me. He was my best friend at that time, and I wasn't even sure that I liked him. My problem was that he ignored me as a FRIEND, he never called

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-29-2006
Mon, 11-21-2011 - 7:36am
"Ok...I fell in love with my best friend last year...but at the time he was already breaking my heart, he made new friends, he was totally ignoring me, never invited me when he was going out and in the end, he even told me with an ironic way that he didn't want to be friend with me cause I was not that interesting and out-going. So I decided to take my revenge, which was, in my point of view, making my own friends and having good time without him.".

Now, you're saying that you didn't love him--you weren't even sure how you felt about him. Which is it??? Either way, your goal was to exact revenge on him for not doing/being what you wanted....and your plan backfired. If you really want to move on and be happy, the first thing you need to do is to stop lying to yourself. Then, take the good advice the other posters have given you.