Forgotten in social situations

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-20-2007
Forgotten in social situations
6
Tue, 11-20-2007 - 3:17pm

I've been with my boyfriend for almost 2 years and in general, he is very good to me and my family, but he has a tendency to forget about me in a lot of social situations. He will leave me alone all night, talking with his other friends, and he will only come over to me if he knows I'm getting mad.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-03-2007
Tue, 11-20-2007 - 3:29pm
This is a tough one. You have every right to be angry but I think your bf does too. No, he shouldn't have abandoned you and I understand that he has a habit of doing this. However, I kind of feel like leaving him with no warning when you were his ride was equally rude. I wouldn't want to be left at the bar for 1/2 either but it was 1/2 hour, not an hour. I'm not sure what to suggest. If this is something he frequently does and even after speaking to him about it he hasn't really changed you may have to move on.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-20-2007
Tue, 11-20-2007 - 4:02pm

Thank you for your opinion and advice!

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2007
Tue, 11-20-2007 - 4:12pm

It seems like this is a particular problem he has, and continues to have even after you have talked with him about it. I think you did the right thing the other night by leaving on your own, because he needs to be shown that you will not accept this. Talking to him about it hasn't helped, so maybe you should just tell him, that this is the way things will continue to be until he shows you enough respect to not completely forget about you.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-03-2007
Tue, 11-20-2007 - 4:18pm
Actually now that you said he had his own car and you did try to find him, I can totally see why you left. Actually I could see why even before but I thought it was a little rude.Now on second thought, I think you did the right thing. I think the other poster was right...maybe this is the action you need to take to get the message through to him. Unfortunately , it sounds like it isn't getting through.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-20-2007
Tue, 11-20-2007 - 4:37pm

I think it's okay for you to be upset with him over this, but you're not really dealing with it constructively. Storming out and getting huffy doesn't solve problems; if you want him to act differently then you need to calmly and collectedly tell him what you want.

A guy with good social skills doesn't treat his date (especially a steady girlfriend) like that. It would be great for you to make an effort to make friends with his friends and start conversations with people on your own. But if he really doesn't think he's doing anything wrong by ditching you then I really doubt his idea of what a good boyfriend is.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Tue, 11-20-2007 - 5:14pm

Welcome to the board lisalpharmd,


Sounds like the bartender had it right, 'you were dumped'.