Found recent ex bf's online personal ad
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| Sun, 07-20-2008 - 1:55am |
So my boyfriend and I just ended a year long relationship. He is actually still married, but separated since May '07. His wife is an alcoholic and has cheated on him with random guys for a while. We met and fell hard for one another right away in June'07. They have a 13 and 15 year old boys together. She moved out in May '07. He is 37 and I am 27. We dated, he said things were over with her and that they were getting a divorce. We do not live together although toward the end I was pretty much at his house all the time staying over. We were pretty much together all the time. Things were going ok for 4 or 5 months and then he would bail out on our plans because the wife would come over (say for one of the son's bday in early november) and he acted kind of sketchy about it. He turned distant, but assure me nothing was going on between them and so

You're going to hate this post. If you think you did the right thing by being with this guy then please don't read it.
Stop referring to his wife as his "ex", she is his wife, separated or not. It's oh-so sad that you had to deal with her, but that's what you get when you involve yourself with someone who is married. In this "relationship" you got exactly what you deserved, exactly what you signed up for when you knew he was a married man. It doesn't matter how bad or good their marriage is, it's none of your business - you have no idea whether his wife cheats on him or not, or what goes on between them. There are some women who can handle being a mistress and some who can't. You couldn't handle it. You expected him to act like a real boyfriend when that's not what he could be. Until a man is divorced he is married. You should have better things to do with yourself than chase after a man who is legally bound to another.
This "relationship" is over so stop pining over it, stop googling him, stop giving a crap about whatever girl he lures next - you're right, your behavior IS crazy.
"If he calls, should I let him know I know this information? "
Don't pick up the phone.
"I think that its so wrong to have an online personal when you are in a relationship."
Read what you wrote about three or four more times and try to see what's wrong with this statement.
"Just because he suffered through crap with her does not make it right for him to do it to someone else like me."
So leave him alone and find someone better.
"All I have ever asked for him to do was be honest"
You knew from the beginning he was not an honest man.
Let this one lie and don't look back. You know you deserve better, in all honesty this guy and his crappy wife will probably remain married because they deserve one another. Learn a bunch of lessons from what you did here. This guy could never be yours, don't you want someone who can commit himself to you, doesn't put you through garbage with the person he has a REAL commitment with, and treats you the way you want to be treated? You'll never find that with a married guy. Let him go for good and never speak to him again.
Welcome to the board laur152,
I'd really wonder after reading all that if she was the one that was cheating in their marriage?
Personally, no I would not tell him I know about the online dating profile with the chopped pictures. I would just get my belongings from him and end any and all contact with him.
Thank you for your insight. I realize that I made some mistakes along the way in this "relationship", but when you are in the situation it is hard to make sense of everything when it is happening to you, which is why I posted on the message board. A lot of the things eggbert said, I had thought about a lot in the past, but I suppose I was in denial about those things. I really needed to hear from an outiside perspective to help me gain my own perspective to really make the step to end things while feeling good about it.