freaking out

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-22-2004
freaking out
2
Fri, 01-23-2004 - 8:47am
Where to start? well, my boyfriend and i have been together for 3 years and been living together for 2 1/2 years. We get on amazingly well and I've been really really happy with him. About 3 months ago, he moved 500 miles away for work and since then we've been seeing each other every other weekend. Back in December I went to visit him for the first time and freaked out. Prior to that, he had been visiting me and everything was fine - i missed him when he wasn't around but i felt i was coping without him. But when i visited him, I freaked out and don't know why. I worried that something had changed and that things werent' as familiar and close between us. He felt everything was the same and told me not to worry. But, I worked myself up into a total panic and ever since then I've been a mess. We have still been seeing each other every other weekend and recently spent two weeks together over the holidays. By the end of those two weeks, I felt much better but as soon as I was alone again i started to freak out. I worry all the time that things have changed and I'm so anxious whenever we are due to meet that i can't be normal around him and cannot see whether thigns are still the same. I love him very much but feel there's a distance that I have created. I so desperately want things to be the same again but that's impossible whilst i'm like this. On top of that, perhaps it is unrealistic to expect things to be the same as they were when we lived together because now we have two intense days together rather than daily living that we used to have. How do i get back a feeling of normality and lose the anxiousness that is ruining our relationship. I get anxious at the prospect of calling him now too. I love him and dont' want to lose him. please help!!!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-26-2003
In reply to: monka27
Fri, 01-23-2004 - 12:00pm

Realistically, things arent going to feel

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-22-2004
In reply to: monka27
Fri, 01-23-2004 - 1:15pm
thanks for your help! i know you're right about the distance thing being the only thing that has changed and i think that the problem is in my head and with my anxiety issues and my inability to be able to deal with things rationally. I think that long distance relationships do require some adjustment and perhaps I hadn't realy envisaged the changes. I do think that some therapy might be a good idea though, and will look into that because i have to get through this if our relationship is to survive. Its just very frightening to have all these wierd feelings and its hard for him to deal with me being like this. Thanks for your advice!