Friends Who became Lovers

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-13-2004
Friends Who became Lovers
5
Tue, 07-13-2004 - 7:39pm
Me and my guy friend has been friends for about five years now. I dated one of his friends and it didnt quite work out. I liked my guy friend for a long time now. Recently we just admitted it to one another. I dont have a boyfriend but he has a girlfriend. He has been with her for about two years. We already had sex. I want him to be my man. But then again I want out because I dont want to be the blame for their relationship not working out. But he still wants to have sex with me and he says their relationship is not like it was when they first started dating. Do I keep having relations with him or just keep it a friend level? PLEASE HELP ME!!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2003
Tue, 07-13-2004 - 8:30pm
'Do I keep having relations with him '

Of course not. Why would you want to be the 'other woman'?

Honestly this guy is a jerk for cheating on his girlfriend.

'he says their relationship is not like it was when they first started dating'

If he is unhappy then he should communicate with her or break up with her, not cheat on her. What if you two start dating and a few months from now the honeymoon phase is over. At that point things will be not like they were when you 'were first dating' (or first sleeping together). How does he deal with it? Does he cheat on you? Do you assume he is cheating on you when things aren't perfect?

He isn't boyfriend material.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-23-2004
Wed, 07-14-2004 - 10:22am
I agree w/ ciao gina. I'm sorry if this sounds harsh, but if he really liked YOU, he would be w/ YOU and only YOU. The fact that he is still w/ his GF is proof that he'd rather be w/ her than you. He is a dog for cheating. Just realize that if he cheated on her w/ you, what's going to stop him from doing it again? He will most likely end up cheating on you w/ another woman if you two become a couple. You deserve better than that. Let him know that you will no longer be the "other woman" and that he has to decide once and for all. Find someone who wants YOU and who is man enough to not sneak around.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-10-2003
Wed, 07-14-2004 - 10:33am
I'm sorry but u need to give up on him. you shouldn't have had sex with him knowing that he has a gf first off, and what kind of friend is he, to have sex with you knowing his situation and how u feel about him? it's not ur fault if their relationship doesn't work. so what if he says their relationship is different now. the fact is, he's still with her and until they break up, there's nothing u can do, but even if they do break up i wouldn't recommend having a relationship with him b/c you wouldn't want him to make another friend and have sex with her while u two are in a relationship would u? and if he is a good friend, u two really need to have a talk. good luck!
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2004
Wed, 07-14-2004 - 12:02pm
With all due respect, have you lost your mind? Do NOT fall into the trap of FWB (friends with benefits). This has potential to be a very painful situation for you. Obviously he is not ready to let go of his girlfriend, so how could he possibly have anything to offer you right now?

This is a VERY BAD IDEA. Please get out now.

Ivy

georgiasugarbaby@yahoo.com

Avatar for lucy4980
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 07-14-2004 - 2:39pm
I agree with the others. Don't be an uck buddy. If this man is really worth your time, he would have ended his relationship with this other woman. He would not be trying to see you on the side and remain with his GF.