Frustration over no engagement
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Frustration over no engagement
| Thu, 05-20-2004 - 8:45pm |
My boyfriend and I have been dating for over two years now. I'm 29 and he is 32. He is a second career person and is trying to find a job in teaching. It is very difficult to find a teaching job in the part of the country in which we live. I love him and would like to get married. He doesn't want to do anything until he finds a job. I don't want to push him because I know he feels bad about himself being 32 and not having a permanant job. I understand this, but I also feel that life is marching by and what if if takes a few years to get a permanant job? I have felt very frustrated over this lately. I love him and just want to build a life with him. I have a good paying job and could support us until he gets one. He is very proud and would not want this. Just dating and running back and forth between each other's houses is frustrating. Any advice?
Signatures On
| Fri, 05-21-2004 - 9:16am |
My advice....wait it out. If you *coerce* him into marrying you now before he is ready then he will end up resenting you for it in the long run. He has very legitimate reasons for not wanting to marry now and since you love him (as I'm sure you do) you should stand by his decision and support him emotionaly and not try to rush him. The more you rush someone into a life changing decision before they're ready the farther they're likely to pull away from you. You both are still young enough that "life is NOT just marching by". I don't think anything much will change if you give him until he finds a permanant job. Now if when that happens and he still wants to wait a few more years then that's when you have to figure out if he's just avoiding marriage all together and THEN you can get frustrated. Best wishes.....
