Fustrated!

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-23-2008
Fustrated!
3
Thu, 09-04-2008 - 10:30pm
Im just going to go right into this. Ok I have been dating my boyfriend for a little over
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-11-2008
In reply to: ca1986
Fri, 09-05-2008 - 8:06am

Well, let's give your boyfriend credit for having a good heart and being responsible and being there for his family.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-20-2007
In reply to: ca1986
Fri, 09-05-2008 - 9:12am

I agree with what kiera already said to you. This is a tough situation, in any case trying to come between a man and his family will only make you into the villain, and it is not possible for you to change their family dynamic. Consider that the way someone's family interacts with one another is the basis for the way they treat people for the rest of their lives, and it will greatly affect the way they intend to raise their own kids.

It is in your best interest to express your concerns and feelings in such a way that does not attack his family, even though any criticism of his parents will likely elicit a defensive response from him. But you can tell him that you're concerned about this kind of financial arrangement and talk about your discomfort with being interrupted so often. While it is unlikely that he will respond really well and say "yeah you're right I'm going to try to get them to stop calling", and he will probably defend his home life and relationship with his parents, I do hope he hears what you have to say with an open mind. It's worth a try.

I agree that it is wise to look very closely at their relationship before you get too serious with him. A marriage to someone who lives under his parents' thumb will put you there as well.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
In reply to: ca1986
Fri, 09-05-2008 - 1:31pm

Hi ca1986,


You've already been given some good advice. I just wanted to welcome you to the board.