Future relationship seems doubtful
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Future relationship seems doubtful
| Mon, 09-13-2004 - 12:52pm |
For the last 13 months i have been dating a wonderful man, however, we've reached a point in our relationship that might bring it to an end and im not willing to see that happen. my problem has to deal with my parents and i am torn between them and the man i want to marry and have a family with. from the momnet we met i was told that the man im dating (we'll call him Will) has been previously married with two children. that is not my problem though. halfway into our relationship he met my parents and all was well, or so i thought. my parents told me that i am better than dating a man with a ex-wife and two children and that they will never approve of our relationship and his children are not welcomed in their home. trying to make the best of the situation, Will kept coming over to my parents house and things seemed to progressivly be getting better. yesterday though my grandparents visited and i casually mentioned Will in one of our conversations and was immediatly told to get rid of him. this upsets me especially when my grandparents havent even met this man, all they know is his past and obviously they dont want to get to know him any better. i told all this to Will and now he feels that he can never be asociated with my family knowing their true feelings of him. it hurts to see him in so much pain when i love him so much. we have had alot of obstacles that we have overcome and i dont want this to be something that stops us from growing together. ive talked to my parents numerous times about the situation and yet their attitude towards all this hasnt and wont change. i want to spend my life with Will, but feel in order to do so it might mean leaving my family. Has anyone been faced with this before and if so what was your outcome? please give me and and all suggestions, good or bad. i need every opinion i can get.

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I'm not saying that you are lacking in important skill areas like my niece, or that you have romantic illusions, or that your parents think you do. I do think that when you talk to them, you should ask them to be honest with you, that you are willing to hear any reservations they may have about YOUR ability to have a successful happy relationship with him or any guy, and that you won't be defensive about whatever they have to say. Ask them to focus on you first, and tell them how you intend to establish your independence before you marry anyone. Best of luck to you.
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