Future vs. Present - Advice Please

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2007
Future vs. Present - Advice Please
4
Mon, 12-31-2007 - 10:24pm

Hi everybody, I've used ivillage's message boards in the past and received wonderful advice - so I've decided to come back with my latest dilemma.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-27-2004
Tue, 01-01-2008 - 8:50am
You will graduate in two years--a lot can (will!) happen in that time. Although you don't want to go striding blindly into the rest of your life without a plan, I don't think you need to micromanage the future quite so intensely. Give it a chance to unfold in all its beauty and mystery, and be willing to take risks to achieve your goals. You have plenty of time to revisit your plans for your romantic life and see how they're going to fit with your plans for your professional life.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-21-2005
Tue, 01-01-2008 - 9:05am
I agree with the PP. Even if you have a discussion with your BF about what your plans are in 2 years, things can and will change. You have to go into this with your eyes open (of course) but you have to leave part of yourself vulnerable to the unexpected. Its impossible to know what the future holds.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-20-2007
Tue, 01-01-2008 - 1:35pm

Having grandiose life plans for getting engaged while in your 2nd year of college will never work. As you've already been told, plans change drastically. I had planned on being engaged to my college boyfriend by the time we graduated, and now I'm with someone else living in another state with a career I didn't really plan for while in my sophomore year.

Take things as they come, put your career plans first and don't tie yourself down to a person or idea. If you make individual plans for engagement then I can assure you that you will be disappointed. You've taken some great strides to be more independent, and I think you should start living your own lessons. If your relationship is meant to last then it will last regardless of whether or not you get engaged by the time YOU want. Good luck.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-30-2005
Wed, 01-02-2008 - 4:07pm

Welcome to the board strongbeautiful,


I think worrying about this right now is only going to put undo strain on the relationship. Focus on your relationship right now and put the worries out of your mind.


I think when you are about a year or so away from graduating would be a good time to start thinking about this and discussing it with him.


Best of luck to you.

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