GAS CAN

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-11-2007
GAS CAN
4
Mon, 07-02-2007 - 7:53pm
Hello. I have a question and would like a few opinions. I have been seeing a woman for the past 3.5 years and the other nite she was by my house , when she recieved a call from her daughter , that the daughter had run out of gas. It was 10pm and I wake for work at 4:15 am and told her I had a gas can with some gas and she could use it for her daughter. She did not request me to go with her. The next day she said she was very upset that I did not go with her and I told her that my job comes before her daighters social life. I know that if I would have gone the daughter would have just driven off after we put the gas in , with out a care in the world that i have to get up so early as long as she gets to where she is going. Was I wrong in not going, I thought everything was fine since I wasnt asked in the first place.There is also another part to this we were suppose to get together the next nite after she went to her girlfriends for a few hours and I called to see if she was back and she said she hadnt left yet, and while on the phone we were arguing about this gas can situation. So needless to say she did not call or even come home that night and calls me the next morning and says she didnt call because of our conversation on the phone and that she had to much to drink, I told her that 3 years before when I did call and was an hour late from going for drinks with the guys she threw a fit and that I was mad because I did call and she didnt and tried to make it out that it was my fault because of this gas can thing. Which again I replied is like a double standard, now I told her enough is enough that what is good for one should be good for both. Now because of this we have broken up. I dont know if she just used this as an excuse to stay out all nite but that is what it seems to me. Am I wrong?
Don


Edited 7/2/2007 9:37 pm ET by topgun923
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-13-2004
In reply to: topgun923
Mon, 07-02-2007 - 8:01pm

Topgun, I don't think you did anything wrong.

Look, if the daughter called because she'd been carjacked or beaten up, then yes you should have gone. But running out of petrol is hardly call for moral support.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
In reply to: topgun923
Mon, 07-02-2007 - 11:34pm

Welcome to the board topgun923,


This is about unspoken expectations. She can't expect you to go if she's not ever discussed her expectations.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-30-2005
In reply to: topgun923
Tue, 07-03-2007 - 11:54am
In my opinion you didn't do anything wrong. I hardly see this as a reason to breakup. I think there must be something else going on with her and she used this as an excuse.
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Avatar for drshoshanna
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: topgun923
Tue, 07-03-2007 - 12:55pm

It sounds to me as though she is using all of this as an excuse to break up. And, no, it was definitely not your responsibility to go with her to get her daughter's gas filled, especially if you had to get up at 4 in the morning. Not only does it sound as though her daughter is irresponsible, but she may be as well. If she really wanted you to go with her, it was her job to ask you to do so. Even then, all of this is questionable.


But, beyond this particular disagreement, and her staying out and getting drunk, it does seem as though there must be other issues which have caused her to break up. Perhaps you're lucky that she's done so.