Germ-o-phobe?

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-27-2008
Germ-o-phobe?
15
Mon, 10-27-2008 - 10:35am
Hope someone can provide some words of wisdom here.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-20-2007
In reply to: rl_texas
Mon, 10-27-2008 - 11:24am

Honestly I don't mind the idea of putting down the windows when someone sneezes. Covering your mouth doesn't sanitize the air around you, it just keeps you from sneezing/spitting directly onto someone else.

And he is right, when you have your own kids, it's totally different. I am not that fond of children in general but I'd love to have kids of my own. It isn't logical but it sort of makes sense.

I don't think he will ever be okay with having a dog, you may have to give up your dreams on that. But being a germophobe does not make you unfit for parenting, nor does it really make you less likely to want children. Some people want kids so bad that they're willing to put up with the negative consequences (if they weren't, there would be zero women giving birth!). This guy insists on wanting to be a parent, I think you should believe him. Yes your parenting styles will probably differ - that's why now is a good time to discuss your beliefs on that.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-27-2008
In reply to: rl_texas
Mon, 10-27-2008 - 11:59am
Fair enough.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-25-2008
In reply to: rl_texas
Mon, 10-27-2008 - 1:00pm

My boyfriend is a germ-o-phobe as well. He won't kiss me if I'm sick. He has gotten a lot better though. I think he realized he was taking it to an extreme and decided to try and relax a little bit. But he still washes his hands a lot, won't let the dog kiss him on the mouth, washes his face twice a day, cringes at the thought of touching the subway hand rails, and won't sit on a public toilet.

I used to think it was a little "funny" but I would never break up with him over it. Every man has their little quarks. I think if you love someone enough, you just accept it and learn to deal with it together.

The battle over the dog is probably one that you are going to loose. I'd just accept that and move on. He's right about your concern with him being able to deal with children. It will be a lot different when he has his own. My brother just had his first baby. He said, something happened to him in that delivery room. As soon as he had his baby in his arms, all he wanted to do was provide for and care for her. The poopy diapers and throw up don't phase him at all. Where as before, he thought all that was "gross."

Give your boyfriend the benefit of the doubt. Try to compromise whenever possible with his quarks about being a germ-o-phobe, and don't worry about how he will be with kids. You sound like you guys have a strong foundation. Don't let something like this rattle it. Good luck!

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-20-2007
In reply to: rl_texas
Mon, 10-27-2008 - 1:03pm

Ahhh, now that is different... And yes I agree that's something you have to decide if it fits into your life or not. A germophobe would be very difficult to live with, and if you had children together you'd be the Cleanup Lady :)

So yes these are valuable things to think about. I think he's being very selfish about his own germs. Doesn't it bother you that he thinks it's more important to protect himself from you than to make sure you are well? That would piss me off. It's not like you have some Highly Contagious Airborne Ebola-AIDS virus.

I might have a sincere talk with him and ask him if he would be willing to see someone about his germ phobia. I think that's a reasonable request, you need to know he's not going to abandon you when you need him.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-03-2007
In reply to: rl_texas
Mon, 10-27-2008 - 1:32pm
this is funny,in the bad sense! " when he is so very messy and yet so very obsessive about germs other than his own. " this is double standard! he is not germophobic, pretending to be one! next time he is sick, turn the tables around ! KWIM? open windows, ask him stay away from you, sleep in different rooms etc, etc. and see what happens NOW, dont wait for the babies to come and see his behaviour.it might be too late then!
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-27-2008
In reply to: rl_texas
Mon, 10-27-2008 - 1:54pm

LOL- I am the clean-up lady.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-27-2008
In reply to: rl_texas
Mon, 10-27-2008 - 1:57pm
Did you help your boyfriend along the way as far as getting over the germ issues to the extent he has?
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-21-2004
In reply to: rl_texas
Mon, 10-27-2008 - 1:57pm

Ok, so ... he's a hypocrite with OCD tendencies.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
In reply to: rl_texas
Mon, 10-27-2008 - 6:35pm

Welcome to the board rl_texas,


You've gotten a lot of input, I just wanted to suggest you read the book:

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-30-2008
In reply to: rl_texas
Mon, 10-27-2008 - 6:42pm
I have never been involved with a germophobic person.

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