getting back together?

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-23-2004
getting back together?
4
Wed, 11-05-2008 - 3:04pm

So my ex and I finally talked last Thursday night. He's been avoiding discussing whether or not we should give

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-21-2005
Wed, 11-05-2008 - 4:37pm
I'm sorry you won't like what I have to say but I really think you need to move on. I think he is trying his best in a round about way to say he's not interested. It sounds to me like he is trying to tell you this without hurting your feelings. Best advice I have for you is not to contact him anymore and let things be. If he happens to change his mind and you are available then see what happens. But, best to start dating other people and move on with your life. The longer you wait for him to 'decide' what he wants, the more miserable you will be.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-30-2008
Wed, 11-05-2008 - 7:05pm

He is relaying too much of what he has been thinking about to you and it could drive you crazy.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-23-2004
Sun, 11-09-2008 - 5:55pm

Thanks for your messages. He tells me he doesn't have anyone to bounce things like this around except me which is actually really hard for me to believe when he has so many friends and people actually go to him for advice. I am the first women he's dated that he can talk about his feelings with and that is already hard for him to do. I sense his nervousness every time he tries to talk about his feelings. He actually gets pretty nervous. He had be going to a therapist to help him get back his self esteem after he had broken up with this ex-girlfriend and is no longer continuing to see the therapist.

I have not spoken to him since we last talked. I wrote him a letter telling him that I am not ready to give up on him and told him I wanted to talk more as he had never really given me a chance to talk as all I did was listen when we last talked. He has not responded to my letter yet. It was send out Monday and he had received it Wednesday. I don't even know if he has read it. I want to call him and not press him on the letter but just as a hello and how he's doing. As I am thinking things over, I am missing his friendship since this all began.

It takes me a while to process things so please be patient with me as I am going through this. As I have gotten to know him, my feelings for him have grown. Part of me wants to fight for a potential relationship, part of me wants to give up, part of me miss the friendship, part of me wants to forget about him altogether. I want to remain strong and hold on to see if I can do anything to help him along the way yet part of me is scared of getting hurt.

Please does anyone have any more thoughts on this. Thanks in advance.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-30-2008
Sun, 11-09-2008 - 7:17pm

He needs a shrink and not you. By confiding in you about other women or dating he is violating you.


If you have to fight to have a relationship with this guy...then it is not the right relationship for you.