getting over a one night stand

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-18-2007
getting over a one night stand
9
Sun, 11-18-2007 - 8:13am

ok so i started dating my bf in summer of 2006. nice guy, i knew him through a guy i used to like and we started hanging out and everyhing was cool. a friend of mine told me that he had had sex with this real slutty girl. i didnt really care, and i guess its because we had just started dating, i really wasnt in love with him yet. i asked him about it and he said they had a one night stand with no condom... that really grossed me out. how can he be so stupid, having unprotected sex with a girl he just met, he knew she was slutty. he told me "she wasnt so slutty when i had sex with her, she was slutty after". oh that makes it a lot better.... NOT. he told me he just wanted to have lose his virginity and have sex already because he was horny, he must have had some interest in this girl, or maybe guys just have sex to have sex and dont need to be interested in the girl whatsoever? I dont know. This one night stand occured about 1 year or so before we started dating, according to him. and its been bugging me about 3 months ago or so, right before our 1 year anniversary time.

i think back at a party in october of 06 when she was there and said hi to him and he said hi back, i didnt care at the time but now i think WHY THE HELL DO HAVE TO TALK TO HER, SHE WAS A ONE NIGHT STAND, SHES TRASHY, dont say hi to her. i have some trust issues with my bf, and sometimes he doesnt take my side or understand why i say or do things. one of his brothers friend girl was laying on his bed once and he didnt realize it was wrong till after we argued about it. i feel like sometimes hes probably too stupid to not realize hell cheat on me. or have another one night stand. i just want things to go back to normal, i want to be able to have unproctected sex with him witouht feeling gross after. he got tested and everything was negative supposedly. the main reason why i dated him was because i thought he was a virgin and i wanted to be sexually intimate and have a wonderful sex life,but 98% of the time i dont even want to have sex with him!!!!

maybe is it because im almost 20 and i want to do something like a one night stand, or maybe cheat oh him? because im scared of possible marriage? so i want to do something dumb just like he did? i dont know, am i being stupid? please help!!!! thank you.
guys youre more than welcome to add ur opinion too so i can see what most guys think about the situation. thanks

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-27-2004
Sun, 11-18-2007 - 10:40am

You seem to have some very negative opinions about your boyfriend.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Sun, 11-18-2007 - 11:14am

Welcome to the board aquaxo,


I have to say, I agree with geoteo on this one.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-20-2007
Sun, 11-18-2007 - 11:44am

Wow. You are incredibly rude and judgmental. Not everyone is happy about their partner's past but everyone makes mistakes, the important thing is that he's clean from STDs and won't sleep with her again. Who cares what YOU think? Your opinion means nothing when it comes to someone's history. What's he going to do, build a time machine?

If you can't get over it then I highly suggest you break up with him and let him find someone better.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2007
Sun, 11-18-2007 - 5:29pm
Yeah, I think you are being unusually harsh, about something that really seems like nothing to me. His explanation to you, makes 100% sense to me, and I'm a woman. I think most guys get to a certain age, and yeah, they just want to have sex, and that's ALL they care about. They don't have to love the person, or even really like them that much to have a one night stand. It was just about them wanting sex. And he told you himself that she was easy, so guys that just want sex normally go for the easiest target.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-18-2007
Sun, 11-18-2007 - 8:52pm

well if another female is laying on my boyfriends bed yes that is disrespectful.
im not gonna let any guy just lay in my bed!

ive had unprotected sex before with an ex but for him to have it unproctected sex with some random girl he meets that same day is disgusting and i dont want to, if, in the long run, marry someone like that, maybe its an ego thing for me, i dont know.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-18-2007
Sun, 11-18-2007 - 8:56pm

im the best thing thats ever happened to him.
before he met me all he cared about was fighting other guys and doing crappy at school.
now hes passionate about getting his business degree and working and such.

maybe if we break he will find someone better FOR HIM but not better

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-18-2007
Sun, 11-18-2007 - 8:59pm

youve explained it perfect. ive had boyfriends that have had sex with girlfriends etc.

but the fact that he did it unprotected just grosses me out, and everytime we have sex i feel disgusted after and this is not healthy for me or him, which is why i want to know what i want to do because i love him but maybe im too stupid to accept what he did and i rather just not deal with someone who can have unprotected sex with someone they just met,

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-20-2007
Sun, 11-18-2007 - 9:42pm

"im the best thing thats ever happened to him."

Haha.... Okay.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2007
Mon, 11-19-2007 - 9:44am

I don't see it that way at all. I mean EVERYONE makes mistakes!! What about all those couples in Hollywood, where before they met, the guy was a major player - Warren Beatty and Annette Benning - he seems like a great husband and father NOW, so was she just supposed to tell him I'm sorry you've been with too many people, and I'm not stupid enough to accept that??!! Personally, I think you have some problems to not be able to accept another human being because they have made a mistake that had nothing to do you in their past.