Getting over the past

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-20-2004
Getting over the past
1
Wed, 10-20-2004 - 5:17pm

I am in a fairly new relationship..almost about 6 months now. I'm really falling for this guy and I could see a good future for us. The thing is, that he's been with quite a few girls before me and I find myself being bothered by it, especially lately, with things getting more and more serious. I know he would never do anything to hurt me, but I can't help but feel somewhat jealous over the "experience" he's had over me (I've only been with two other people).

It's dumb to feel this way, I know, but I can't help it at times. It's really something I just think about on my own, he doesn't really know how I feel..but it's almost like I can't get it off my mind sometimes!

Has anyone else ever felt this way before? How did you deal with getting over the past?

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-26-2004
Wed, 10-20-2004 - 5:36pm
I can totally relate. My husband is 36, I am 23 so he has much more history and experience than I do.

At 1st it didn't bother me, I actually didn't think about it, but once our relationship became more serious and we got engaged I started to wonder things like what things he did with these other women (trips, sex, etc).

I came here and posted and everyone pretty said the same thing - everyone has a past as long as he isn't throwing it in your face then you shouldn't worry about it. Plus, people said that he's with YOU for a reason, and not with those other women.

I didn't ask my man for every gory detail but I did ask him why him and his last girlfriend broke up after being together for 3 years, they had lived together, etc. and he told me she wasn't "marriage material" and I asked if I was marriage material, and he said I was and now we are married :)

I ask for reassurance and have even come out and told him that sometimes I worry that something in his past was better but he always makes me feel better. As time goes by I think about it less and less. So, will you.

Since you said you are still in the beginning stages of your relationship I wouldn't overly voice your concern about his past but once you get more comfortable maybe you can talk about it. Until then just remember he's with YOU and not those other girls.