Getting the worst message.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-28-2007
Getting the worst message.
6
Tue, 08-28-2007 - 7:17am
Well my story is that ive been dating a beutiful girl who i really love and hope to still have time to save our relationship. but just the other day we got into an argument over something realy silly and stupid. But my girlfriend is the type to take everything to the extreme. So one thing led to another and some things she had bottled up inside came out.One of the things she said was that i dont satisfy her in bed. Im really confused because iv been dating her for a year and three months. I feel like ive been lied to the whole time we have been together. I feel like this whole time iv been made to believe that im a good lover.We are not fighting anymore, but as far as sex i havent approached her. She says that its ok because we love each other, I dont believe that because i feel that intimacy is one of the main keys to keep a relationship going.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-20-2007
Tue, 08-28-2007 - 10:12am

Your girlfriend sounds more than a little immature. If she can't bring up issues without getting angry, turns arguments about one thing into an argument about something else, and prefers to simply avoid sex rather than trying to communicate and work through problems, how does she EVER hope to have a meaningful relationship where she feels heard and her needs are met?

You need to encourage her to talk to you. Avoiding intimacy is not the answer; that will eventually cause resent on both of your behalves and ultimately ruin your relationship. If she won't talk to you then I don't know what hope you have, but try to make her feel comfortable about communicating with you - don't be accusatory or angry. Just tell her that it's been hard on you avoiding these issues and that it would be in your best interest as a couple if you could work them out now.

If she truly values her relationship with you she'll be open to it - good luck

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Tue, 08-28-2007 - 12:59pm

Welcome to the board ace1ponydrvr,


Wow. How horrbile. I can't imagine telling anyone that, in the middle of an argument. She wanted to hurt you, on purpose, to make you wrong and to take the focus off the real issue that the fight started over.


She's probably

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-30-2005
Tue, 08-28-2007 - 1:54pm

Welcome to the board ace,


Wow, that is just down right mean and hurtful. Whether it is true or not she said something on purpose just to hurt you. You don't do that to people that you care about and want to have a long healthy relationship with.


Is she normally like this when you get into arguments?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-28-2007
Tue, 08-28-2007 - 3:26pm
NO not really.This is the first time she has ever said anything to throw me down like that. Trust me thats probably the worst thing that anyone that really means sumthing to me has ever said to me. I feel so confused and really dont know how to solve this problem. And the thing is she woke up the next day like everything was fine.I have never dealt with a situation like this.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-30-2005
Tue, 08-28-2007 - 4:49pm
Have you asked her why she would say that to you?
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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-13-2004
Tue, 08-28-2007 - 6:09pm

Wow, it doesn't get more hurtful than that.

The problem you are faced with now is that this would be very hard to get past. Words like that cannot be taken back. Even if she tells you that she was making it up, you'll never really know how she felt will you.

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