girl, career? Help

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-11-2007
girl, career? Help
2
Wed, 07-11-2007 - 9:23am
Im from Pennsylvania Im 22. Im really mature and I know what I want in life as in love. I have very high ambitions to make it too. I just seperated from the marines and yes I have a hard time making decisions for myself because I never had too, they were always made for me. Well I was supposed to go to school in VA Beach but went & I was so uncomfortable. So I dis-inroled. So i am livng with my aunt and uncle for a couple months in the Richmond area, I have applied to a job with VA Power. So basically Im going to be on unemployment for a while. If I dont get the job than school is an option down here in VA, but I just wonder if I dont get the job, if god is trying to tell me to go back home and live with my mom and get my feet settled in there.
Now my girl who is 27, just moved to VA Beach today, she is a teacher. She is very independant and before we met she wanted to move there because she wanted to start a new life and meet people. Im not sure how this relationship will work, I know it really can, it just depends on how much we love each other but she isnt ready to be in a serious relationship. This is crazy b/ I want a serious relationship and she is not ready, its usually the other way around. Now if I dont get this job, should I just go home and try there. I know if I do the girlfriend thing probably wont work and I really really love this girl. I asked her, why do u still want me if this is ur plan. She said she loves me and has lots of feelings for me. I feel this girl is the one, her personality is amazing. I know my girlfriend has been in alot of bad relationships. She has never had a real man in her life until I came around. I really dont want to lose this girl at all.
Avatar for drshoshanna
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 07-11-2007 - 10:11am

Well, if you love this girl and can be patient, then go back to where she is, go to school there, get a job there, and settle in. If she loves you and you love her, see how it goes. It just may take time for things to settle between the two of you. If she says she's not ready for a serious relationship, believe her. Listen to her. Go slow and build you own life up while you're there. You're only 22 and there's plenty of time for getting serious for you. Now is a good time to plant a firm foundation for your life. It's time to discover what you'd like to do in life and get the training to do so. While you're building your life, if you are close to where your girlfriend is, she can slowly be part of your life as well. But, as I say, go slow and be respectful of the fact that she wants time and space. At your age, no matter how you feel, you need it too.


Best wishes,

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Wed, 07-11-2007 - 11:48am

Welcome to the board jhutman,


I have a comment about being uncomfortable at school.... sometimes working through the uncomfortable feelings is what you need to do.