great guy but not taking to nxt level?
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great guy but not taking to nxt level?
| Fri, 09-12-2008 - 1:06pm |
i have been seeing a great guy (smart, attractive, good values, makes me laugh, makes me feel beautiful) fairly seriously since july.

You know, the best relationship I've ever had - considering the fact that I'm still in it four years later - was when the guy didn't want to have sex until we said "I love you" and we knew it was "it". It took six months to get to that level.
Some men take sex and love very seriously. I happen to really admire your boyfriend for this, it means he really wants a meaningful relationship and since you've become closer and more serious it means that his tactic is working.
Unless you prioritize sex over emotional closeness, just let him continue doing what he's doing. He'll let you know when he's ready.
Welcome to the board justme109,
I think it's great he wants to wait.
thank you so much for your thoughts.
>was it ever a conversation between the two of you?
Yes, in the beginning before we went further we had a conversation about it... I asked him his feelings and he said he wanted to wait because it was important to him, and he promised himself that the next time it would be the last. The relationship he had before me was his first and only - it was a really awful relationship and it started as a drunken one night stand. So I think he really wanted to avoid that.
>did you mutually decide to wait or was it just understood?
Well, he told me it was important to him to wait and I agreed. My last relationships before him moved very quickly and it was a great change. This one was SO much more meaningful and genuine.
I don't think you should ask him again unless you WANT him to feel pressured. Even if you say "no pressure but..." he will still feel pressured about it. I know it's frustrating but it really does make it worth the wait!!
it seems that all posters here assume either that sex isn't important or that it'd automatically be great.
What if they grow closer and have this wonderful relationship and the sex will be horrible? It always seems like a crazy idea to me to wait having sex until you are married. Quality of sex is a huge part of making relationship successful. So it the very least you should try it out before investing too much emotions
May be he has a problem with his equipment?
That's one huge assumption, I know my relationship is better for having waited and my boyfriend does NOT have a "problem with his equipment", thank you very much.
Some people happen to think that sex is made a lot LESS horrible by having an emotional connection.
My daughter