The Great Porn Debate

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-30-2008
The Great Porn Debate
5
Fri, 05-30-2008 - 5:50pm
Just curious, but do I have the right to tell my man not to look at porn? I am strongly against pornography and the image it portrays to men and women alike. I had this discussion with my man when we first got together.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Fri, 05-30-2008 - 9:55pm

Welcome to the board icaram,


Well, if it doesn't interfer with your relationship (read that sex life) let it go UNLESS you are so against it and feel lied to then you may have to re-evaluate the relationship and determine if it's a deal breaker for you and if it boils down to different morals, values, standards and expections, which then boils down to incompatiblity.


Have you read: Are You the One for Me? by Barbara DeAngelis - I recommend it. Good luck to you.


iVillage Member
Registered: 05-24-2008
Sat, 05-31-2008 - 12:49am
I think the real issue here is that he deceived you into believing that he shared your values.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-29-2008
Sun, 06-01-2008 - 9:05am

I think you are in a relationship with someone you are not campatible with. If he keeps doing it, he obviously isn't going to stop.


As for your question, it is a man's right to look at porn just as it is your right not to be with a man who looks at porn.

Avatar for drshoshanna
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 06-01-2008 - 1:23pm

It sounds possible to me that your man has a pornography addiction. This has become quite common these days. Even though an individual explains it away in many forms, they are constantly ordering, looking at and surrounded by porn. It is an addiction. Unless they realize that they are in the grip of an addiction and are willing to tackle it and make changes, it is unlikely that he will stop. Although he may want to, he can't. You have to decide how you will deal with this - how it affects your relationship and also become aware of whether or not it is intensifying. Do some research on addictions to porn and you'll learn more about what you're up against.


Best wishes,

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-06-2008
Mon, 06-02-2008 - 5:57am

"Just curious, but do I have the right to tell my man not to look at porn?"


No, but if you feel that strongly about it you have the right to say it's either the pornography or you - and then stick to your ultimatum.


Two things about your post.