Guidance

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-20-2004
Guidance
1
Mon, 09-20-2004 - 2:10am
First off, I love my boyfriend very much, and I'm sure he can say the same. Among our relationship, I believe we are very open, honest, and we communicate well with one another.

So the story is, we've spent the ENTIRE summer together, EVERY single day, which I totally believe, is what started everything. (But it was an amazing summer, I must say!) In mid-August, my boyfriend was out on a trip with his friend for a week, and another week off at basketball camp. This seemed pretty good for me, since it allowed myself to spend time with family and friends, and then I'd be able to spend more time with him when he got back! There were some doubts that his leaving would hurt our relationship, but we believed it would make us stronger and we were both determined to not let things crumble.

Well we did it, life was gorgeous and it did make us stronger. However, a couple weeks after he started having feelings of disatisfaction, but he said it had nothing to do with me. We talked and concluded that it was because he didn't spend any time with his friends over the whole summer. So we went on a break, slowed things down, so he could get together with the guys more often. I was giving him space as he had given mine during his departures. After that, things started looking bright and sunny, but it didn't last.

I guess I could say things have "faded", and it puts us both in a state of confusion of as to how this happened and what we could do to stop it. We contemplated on whether we should go on another break or not, but I fear it may worsen things. I feel that there's no other way but down, so I just need guidance of as to what to do.

As well, we're only 16 and I know emotions are very strong at this age. When we're happy, we're REALLY happy, and when we're sad, we're really sad. I'd appreciate suggestions on solving this problem, rather than just dumping everything. It would save the tears and I believe I would develop into a more mature individual emotionally.

Thanks

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: lv54
Mon, 09-20-2004 - 9:31am
lv54...

You are a smart lady for a 16 year old. Wanna know why? Your last paragraph summed up what you need to do in order to make any future relationship (with your b/f or somebody entirely different) WORK!

When one person sees his or her soulmate every single day...the outside world is often irrelevent...and often "completely closed!" Pianoguy thinks that's probably what happened during the SUMMER. When your b/f took a 2-week break...he got to 'view things' differently...and might have felt a little boxed in after the 2 of you reconnected with each other?

Rather than 'write the guy off' entirely...take a deep breath and see if you can at least maintain your friendship. There are plenty of changes ahead for each of you...and those last couple years of high school (junior and senior years) will be a REAL WAKEUP CALL! Each of you will see sides of your personalities (along with those of your friends) that you never knew existed.

But these "sides" will make you stronger...prepare you for college, your careers and maybe...a married life?

Do your best to have some fun without getting serious with ANYBODY right now. Cuz once the 'seriousness' happens...you're gonna be praying for those carefree, great times you're experiencing right now. ENJOY 'EM WHILE THEY LAST!

Pianoguy