Guy needs female advice

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-26-2007
Guy needs female advice
8
Mon, 11-26-2007 - 4:31pm

First of all, let me start by saying I deserve all the criticism I am sure I will get. But what I need is female advice, or maybe just to vent


I screwed up big time. Last year, in my first year of college, I hooked up with another girl behind my gf of 2+ years back. I have never regretted anything more than that and I dont know what I was thinking- other than I just wasn't thinking. A bunch of us had been out drinking and I ended up back in her room. I knew it was a bad situation to be in, but I was a stupid immature guy.

Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 11-26-2007 - 4:41pm

The only advice I can offer is to let go and move on.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-30-2005
Mon, 11-26-2007 - 5:24pm

Welcome to the board hurtinguy,


What you can do from this is learn from your mistakes. It doesn't pay to lie and hide things from your partner. The only things worse than this happening to you at this point would be not learning from it.


Best of luck to you.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-26-2007
Mon, 11-26-2007 - 9:49pm

I learned from it before she ever found out....but if that wasn't enough, I certainly got my a** kicked when she dumped me


I know it will never happen again in any relationship I am in. I have never been so sorry to lose what I have lost, all over my stupidity


I wish there was someway I could help her get over the betrayal, we both tried. I just feel like I can't live with what I have done to her, and to us.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Mon, 11-26-2007 - 11:31pm

Getting over a break-up takes time.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-09-2007
Tue, 11-27-2007 - 3:06pm
I'm so sorry to hear that you are in such pain.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-26-2007
Tue, 11-27-2007 - 4:18pm

Yes, we got back together after several months of working on what had happened. I had a lot to prove to her, and I was willing to do whatever it took to get her back. Things were going very well....or so we both thought. I guess she was still dealing with the cheating, but I was not aware and I think she was trying to hide it or not think about it. I am not sure she even realized she wa still dealing with it, if she did- she never said anything to me and was trying to move past it.Then when I went out for a rowdy night with the boys - and didn't tell her- I think it was the last straw.

Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 11-27-2007 - 5:04pm

Oh, yeah, a lie like that is definitely going to cause even someone who's forgiven you to have second thoughts.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-09-2007
Tue, 11-27-2007 - 5:17pm

Cheating is a very very hard thing to deal with.....I dont think one ever gets over it, and it's extremely hard to get past it and mend a relationship.