Hanging out with someone else

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2008
Hanging out with someone else
16
Tue, 05-13-2008 - 9:58pm

I am so confused.I did not see this coming. My bf and I have been dating for almost 3 yrs. I just found out that he was creeping out of the house to go cuddle and watch movies with a friend of his that had a crush on him. He's been telling her that he's only with me because of his son and telling her that I am a bitch. When I found this out and confronted him, he says that he said those things out of frustration. He said his actions have nothing to do with me and that he has a problem with

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-12-2005
Thu, 05-15-2008 - 1:25pm

I think egg meant "to stay in the relationship," not stay in the house necessarily.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-20-2007
Thu, 05-15-2008 - 4:08pm

"I think egg meant "to stay in the relationship," not stay in the house necessarily."

You are right

Avatar for drshoshanna
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 05-15-2008 - 4:23pm

He has absolutely no right to monitor your cell phone or dictate anything to you. If he prefers to be single, he has no rights over you.


You have to get this talked out and clarified for your own sake. If he is afraid of committment, sneaks out to be with others and bad mouths you, he is not someone you should be living with. It's very bad for your own feelings of self esteem. You deserve much better than this, and your son also deserves to see his mother respected. He can live separately, be single and still have plenty of quality time with his son. If you are single, you can then begin to build your life back up and find someone to start again with.


Even if you love him with your whole heart, if he doesn't feel the same way and doesn't act with respect towards you, this is a toxic situation for you and cannot lead to any good. Respect yourself. Let him know that if he wants to be single, he can...but he cannot behave that way if he is with you. Set standards. Let him know what you need and expect in a relationship. If he can't or won't fill it, let him go. There are many other who would be happy to be in a healthy, committed relationship where both can grow.


All good wishes,

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2008
Thu, 05-15-2008 - 5:47pm
I have set my standards and he knows them. I let him know that I am
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2008
Thu, 05-15-2008 - 5:58pm

The relationship has been over since I found out what was going on. I found out in April. It's been over since.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-20-2007
Thu, 05-15-2008 - 7:18pm
I know, I didn't suspect that you were still in it... Listen I'm just trying to say that it's better to be broken up than together because you seemed concerned about that.

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