Hate

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-11-2008
Hate
11
Thu, 12-08-2011 - 11:59am

Does hate last forever?

I would think not. Is there a possibility that two people who once loved each other now hating be friends in the future?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-06-2007
In reply to: aznlily520
Thu, 12-08-2011 - 1:36pm
Hate is a strong word. What on earth could have happened for there to be hate now? Can you elaborate?

I do not believe that once there was love and now hate or even extreme dislike that you can go back to love. Mira Kirshenbaum explains it in one of her chapters in this book.

http://www.amazon.com/Good-Leave-Stay-Step---Step/dp/0452275350/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1323369311&sr=8-1
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2009
In reply to: aznlily520
Thu, 12-08-2011 - 1:49pm

Hate is passionate anger... Hate subsides when you stop giving yourself a reason to be so angry.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-11-2008
In reply to: aznlily520
Thu, 12-08-2011 - 3:10pm

Well my soon to be ex-husband

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-22-2007
In reply to: aznlily520
Thu, 12-08-2011 - 3:16pm

Aznlily, my advice probably won't be much help.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-06-2007
In reply to: aznlily520
Thu, 12-08-2011 - 3:22pm
Let me add...

Hate doesn't have to last forever. Hating takes a lot of negative energy to keep up, right? At some point you can drop the hate so that your heart is open again.

I think hate can eventually go away, but for your own benefit, not to be friends with an ex necessarily.

Are you wanting to be friends with him in the future, but he hates you? If he's your ex, why does it matter?
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-11-2008
In reply to: aznlily520
Thu, 12-08-2011 - 3:30pm

Make sense to me that he is no good as a husband or a friend.
I just feel hurt, confused, and angry that the man I loved is putting the blame on me.
After he found out about the kiss he told me he wanted to give us another chance before he found out, but before that he never told or showed me that he was willing to do that.
I believe since the other girl refused him, he thought he could pick me right off the shelf again. The thing is I told him on several occasion that I was trying to move on him.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-11-2008
In reply to: aznlily520
Thu, 12-08-2011 - 3:32pm
As to being his friend. We were friends before we got married. I just hope we can go back to that. Obviously not since he can't get pass the idea of me hanging out with his friends, going on date and being my own person.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-06-2007
In reply to: aznlily520
Thu, 12-08-2011 - 6:32pm
If you have any hopes of being friends (not sure why he'd be so valuable to you as a friend after this - make a new friend!), I'd make sure there was like a 3 year gap between all of this. As in, don't be friends anytime soon.

He's probably putting the blame on you because he hasn't lifted his blinders from himself yet. Probably in denial and it's easier to point fingers than to look at oneself truthfully. Just a thought.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-08-2011
In reply to: aznlily520
Thu, 12-08-2011 - 6:35pm

If you are feeling hate, it is usually a symptom of fear.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2009
In reply to: aznlily520
Fri, 12-09-2011 - 1:45am

Why worry about being friends?

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