Have I been here before?

Avatar for justtalkin3
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-05-2003
Have I been here before?
4
Mon, 07-09-2007 - 1:27pm

Hi,

I know I have been to some of the relationship boards and talked about my relationship...not sure this board is one of them.

I have a relationship that began in Nov. '05 with both of us recently separated. me from the 3rd marriage, he from his first and only long-time union. He has two grown children that were living at home, and I have one that is independent and married. We had a fast connection and, due to circumstances, we wound up livng together probably too soon. Unfortunately, I found out within the first few months that his children were very immature for young adults and were very affected by their environment with too lax parenting and mental illness and addiction problems in the family. Even my BF had some problems with marjuana and alcohol abuse that got him in trouble, being an old Hippy. He drinks a lot less now and does not smoke. However, the grown but NOT grown children are the problem. The girl is lesser of a problem because she went to live with her maternal grandmother who puts up with her stuff. His son lives with us, and I did not realize it right away, but he has mental and emotional problems. He is now in therapy but, when I thought he'd only be living with us a few months to 6 months, he is still with us one and a half years later. we are trying to get him to the point of moving out...but he can't or won't save money...sometimes it's some of both. Now, we are encouraging him to get a second part-time job since he can't save money with one fulltime job. I am very frustated and we argue constantly. He is a strong defender of his children. He believes everything they say. They can do know wrong.
I guess I know I should have dropped this relationship long ago since it is very difficult. Any advice for a woman in love that really does not want to end this but is having problems sticking with it???

Frostyd SnowLADY

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-05-2007
Mon, 07-09-2007 - 2:40pm
maybe, because it is so difficult, you should end it and move on. Love should not be this difficult. Next time will be easier.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Mon, 07-09-2007 - 3:40pm

Welcome to the board justtakin3,


I think it's great that the son is in therapy, but what about the dad?

Avatar for justtalkin3
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-05-2003
Tue, 07-10-2007 - 7:42am
Thanks for your input.

Frostyd SnowLADY

Avatar for justtalkin3
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-05-2003
Tue, 07-10-2007 - 7:44am
Thanks for your reply. My BF does not really believe in or like the thought of therapy, at least not for himself. He really doesn't like thinking aynbody knows better than him what to do about anything in his life....unfortunately.

Frostyd SnowLADY