Have I completely screwed up?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Have I completely screwed up?
3
Fri, 09-17-2004 - 12:07pm
Short version:

Met this guy 2 weeks ago, & we've spent almost every day together... Very deep mutual connection between us... Some say you know when you meet "The One" & if that is true this is definately the case... he even told me he loved me (soon I know) & sent me 2 dozen roses on my bday yesterday!!! So yeah yesterday was my bday so I went out with friends & he went out with his friends... well I ended up getting kinda drunk & started calling him because I wanted to see him... well I am the type that drunk dials... & bad! So I called him repeatedly... bad- I know! Well he eventually answered & said something then hung up. so I went home... he showed up at my apt. 2 hours later with a cake & card & I asked him to leave! He did but accidently left his phone at my place. Today I called him at work & told him I found his phone then hung up...

We are very much alike- stubborn! So he won't call me first- if he even calls at all! I am wondering if anyone thinks I have completely screwed up the chance of this relationship developing? We talked the other day about straightening our lives together- like not drinkning alcohol as much (we are just out of college). So I know we both had the same intentions of a long term relationship developing!

Question: Should I call & apologize for my drunk actions? Or wait for him to call me? & what should I do to make this situation better?

Thank you


iVillage Member
Registered: 05-24-2004
Fri, 09-17-2004 - 3:08pm
I would advise calling him and giving him a sincere apology for drunk dialing and then asking him to leave when he was trying to make your birthday nicer. All might not be lost, but the best way to find out is to own-up to what you did, talk about what you regret and apologize. It sounds like he really likes you, so he may be willing to give things a second chance.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2004
Fri, 09-17-2004 - 4:19pm
I agree. Think about this; you "drunk dialed" him to the point of severe annoyance, then he shows up at your appartment with cake and a card anyway? That is REALLY sweet, so at that point I think he realized it was the alcohol and was still set on showing you that he cares for you by making your birthday special. THEN you kick him out. First, why did you kick him out...was it the liquor talking or was there another reason? At that point I think I'd just leave and not really want to talk either...because he didn't do anything wrong, he brought you a cake after you were drunk dialing him and then he left when you told him to leave. So I'm kind of confused why you'd be mad at him or why you'd be waiting for HIM to call...he has nothing to apologize for, and when you called you hung up (again, why did you just hang up) so I'm guessing he thinks if he calls he is just going to get some mad girl that hangs up on him.

I bet if you call him and apologize and explain that you were acting totally out of character and tell him that you still really want to clean up your act (alcohol or what not) and just have a calm talk...he'll definately come around. It's a new relationship too, so you guys are just getting to know eachother and your actions and reactions. In my opinion, if you react by calling and apologizing he'll easily see what a sincere and sweet person you are...which will make a good impression anyway. I'm also stubborn...VERY but even I would call because I'd know I was in the wrong when he was just trying to do the nicest thing.

Let us know how it goes.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-13-2004
Fri, 09-17-2004 - 6:36pm
iv'e drunk dialed before.i also have a stubborn streak.and i think i understand where you was coming from based on my days of trippin on the alcohol.you went out enjoyed yourself you didnt want it to end you called this guy who you enjoy being with and talking with, his phone rang and rang,you felt that the feelings was definatly mutual so you wondered why was he not answering his phone.thats why you called and called.normally sober you would not have done this you would have waited it out and made a different approach to understanding why he did'nt answer his phone.the alcohol gave you boldness not to care and call and locate what was up.he answered said something and hung up.to my understanding this puzzled you.maybe you felt like he was with someone else.why was he funny on the phone and now at your front door with flowers?thats probably what you wondered.you responded by what you felt or maybe assumed at that time,and you know us stubbies"stubborn".at that moment ,drunk,emotional,we at that moment don't care about no cake or flowers.you was wondering why he was weird on the phone.to make a long relation short...i feel you,dont beat yourself up,you have your part in this where you tripped out a little but you had been celebrating your b-day and did'nt understand why he was weird on the phone.he likes you and this is not the end of you,what the heck go ahead and apologize on the strength,just let him know how you felt that caused you to react like you did then dont get caught off guard like that again because if that happens in a pattern then that would make a person wonder.